The Imperfect Bride

Source: Unsplash, Arlet Padron Benitez

 As I've discussed recently on the blog, my love for the local church has been growing over the past few years in surprising ways.

I say surprising because like we all know, the closer you get to something--whether that is a person or a thing--we begin to notice all its many imperfections.

For example, my skin might look smooth and even at first glance, but place me in front of a 3X magnification mirror, and I am suddenly horrified by all the sun spots, stray hairs, clogged pores, and wrinkles that I see.

We can experience this let down with people, too. Sociologist and author Sherry Turkle speaks to the "Goldilocks Effect" that characterizes our online relationships that technologies such as social media make possible. By placing people close enough to be considered friends, but yet far away enough that their "drama" does not impact our lives, we often do life at this "just right" distance in our relationships (and forfeit deeper love and joy in the process!).

In truth, we as Christians can fall into this "Goldilocks" dynamic, as well. We can go years just skimming the surface of church relationships, never getting past those few minutes of chatting with folks over coffee between services (if we decide to stay after the service at all). Or the opposite happens: many of of us life-long church goers could tell our own stories of disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, and hurt* we've experienced as we've gotten close to others in our church family and let down our guards, so we give up ever trying again.

Recently, as a few couples in the small group that my husband and I host were asking us about starting their own group, we had the opportunity to share about the highs and lows of doing life together by leading our fellow church members in this way. We discussed snack rotations, prayer request texts, and matters involving hospitality, but we also took the opportunity to let them know that by leading their own group, they, too, would get a front row seat to grief, sin, heartache, apathy, and questions about faith and life. I had to laugh when one wife said, "Stop it! You're scaring me!," but it is true--the hard comes with the good, and it is just the way God designed it, this side of heaven.

While grabbing coffee with my pastor recently, he shared about a passage of Scripture that has comforted us both as we've discipled, shepherded, and even parented. It is penned by the Apostle Paul who was writing to a very "messed up" church by all definitions. For example, when they shared the Lord's supper, some folks were getting drunk, while others were leaving hungry. One man was sleeping with his stepmother, which was a behavior even the pagans did not tolerate in that society! (see 1 Corinthians chapter 5) But Paul begins his letter to this broken church of Corinth in a most surprising way: 

"I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge—even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you—so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."                                                  -- 1 Corinthians 1:4-9 (emphasis mine)

We see here that Paul was thankful for this church, and he was filled with love and hope!  

He is confident that the Corinth church will not stay the way it was becuse GOD would be faithful to sustain them until the end.

Paul could look upon this imperfect bride of a church and see beauty, restoration, healing, and life.

And so can we, friend.

I must ask myself: how can I love this imperfect bride of a church, that is my local church body?

Because I am an imperfect bride, too! I am self-focused, slower to grow and change than I'd like, apathetic at times, and frequently distracted. 

So I'd love to encourage us all to dig in, to get to know others at a deeper level within the walls of our local church. Sure there are things you'd change if you could, but we can all rest with hope and confidence, just like Paul, because God has said He is faithful to grow it and sustain it until the end. Go on that retreat. Join that small group. Volunteer on that work day; serve in that nursery.  

You, and your church family, will be blessed that you did!

 *hurt = non-abuse (to be clear, abuse ought never to be tolerated and the proper civil authorities should be informed and legal pathways persued, both within and outside the church)

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Your Story Matters

Source: Unsplash

As Christians, we know that Jesus is our ultimate Victor.

He is our Defender, our Righteousness, our Savior, our Lord.

Revelation paints a beautiful picture of the final battle that will bring an end to our Accuser, the Satan (see chapter 20), as he is cast into the lake of burning sulfur.

However it wasn't until recently that I was made aware that this beautiful victory is also made possible by the testimony of the Saints.

Look with me in Revelation 12:10-12

"And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, 'Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them!...'"(emphasis mine)

I think this helps to explain my need to hear the stories of faith, endurance, suffering, and victory in the lives of my fellow Christian brothers and sisters.

Once upon a time, this might have felt "optional" to me.

Looking back, I think I always categorized my church as "helpful."

As a child, I was faithful to attend a local church (and I have my parents to thank for that!). As a college student, single professional, and as a married adult, I have consistantly sought out the local church, attending on a weekly basis, becoming a member, and serving alongside the saints.

But it hasn't been until recently that I have determined in my spirit--in my core--that this is not just "helpful" to me as a Christian to be a part of the body of Christ. No, I now understand that it is ESSENTIAL.

And now, I have more Scripture to help me understand this biblical truth.

You see, I need your story.

It does not merely "help" me in my journey of faith.

It does not merely "encourage" me.

No, friend. It is an essential part of the victory of Light over Dark, Good over Evil, the Kingdom of God over the Kingdom of Satan.

I NEED to hear your story, your testimony, all the ways in which you currently see God move in your life...all the ways you have seen God move in your life.

I NEED to hear your story, teenager.

I NEED to hear your story, college student.

I NEED to hear your story, professional single.

I NEED to hear your story, young mother of three.

I NEED to hear your story, empty-nester.

I NEED to hear your story, octogenarian.

I NEED to hear your story! And thank you for sharing it with me, trusting it with me...and I hope you can benefit from mine, dear friend.

May we NEVER forget that the testimony of the saints helps to conquer our Accuser...and may we forever stand in the victory of the Lamb!

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Your Presence Matters

Photo source: Unsplash, taken by Natalya Ukolova

There has never been a time that I have loved the local church more than I do now.

I can't explain it, and I don't fully understand it. 

I didn't even notice the shift occuring inside of me--I only noticed that a shift had occurred, and it literally took my breath away and is forever imprinted upon my heart.

I'll never forget, I was seated in church (left side, midway down, third seat in from the aisle), and I had just drank the tiny cup of port wine and swallowed the dry cracker of the communion meal while in my seat.  The soft worship music continued to play and my gaze slid over to the people filing down the center aisle, so they, too, could get the elements fom our pastors and make their way back to their seats.

As I watched the line of women, men, and adolescents slowly make their way past my seat, I wasn't impressed by their button-up shirts, dresses, or matching shoes (a habit of mine years ago as a church-going teen), but I was suddenly struck by how much I LOVED these people, and I literally gasped.

As each person filed by, I truly noticed them.  Perhaps I personally knew them, having served with them in some way at the church or on a mission trip.  Perhaps I had met their parents, been in their home around the dinner table, or I could correctly pair them with their infant child in the church nursery. 

But even if I didn't know them, or had never met them before, my heart seemed to lunge toward them. Old, young, known, unknown, it didn't matter. I was sincerely thankful and grateful they were there. Inexplicably, their mere presence in the sanctuary that morning truly and deeply mattered to me.

I talk to people in my church (at weekly Life Group or sharing coffee out in town) who say something to the effect that they feel needy, not useful, broken, benched in some way.  I try my best to express to them that just their being at church or at small group--just their being in the boat, so to speak--deeply ministers to me.  They may not be pulling at an oar (yet), but their very presence proclaims the fact that they have made the choice to not go at it alone, but to partner with Jesus, with me and others, to be united to the family of God...and that profoundly impacts us all. 

I didn't talk much about my communion experience at that time, and probably 4 or more years have passed since that day, but it continues to inform my spiritual journey in a profound way. It has been interesting for me to read or hear the words of others--current church leaders and even pastors a few decades into their retirement from the pulpit ministry--sharing about how their hearts and souls are consistently refreshed by being surrounded by the saints on a Sunday morning, hearing them sing the hymns of the faith, eating together, and just being together as the body of Christ.

If you struggle to love the local church and have never experienced this facet of being united in Christ with other believers, you are not alone, dear friend!  Many (perhaps most?) of us have had seasons where we have struggled to be truly present in church each week, to dig in, get to know people, to serve and to just love and be loved.  I'd like to point you to some resources that have helped me in those seasons, and these are still books that encourage me as I reflect upon the wonder of my relatively newfound love--Christ's love--for his church, the bride.  I also recently heard a podcast about how your church--my church--needs you to show up...in the best way.  

TGC Podcast The Deep Dish: Your Church Needs You to Show Up -- Courtney Doctor, Melissa Kruger, Vanessa K. Hawkins

Sam Allberry: Why Bother With Church?

Paul David Tripp: Sunday Matters: 52 Devotionals to Prepare Your Heart for Church

Deitrich Bonhoeffer: Life Together

May you be encouraged, challenged, and strengthened this week in your journey, wherever you land in your feelings of love for your local church.  God will and can use you--even if you just sit in a pew for a bit. 

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