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| Judas Iscariot returning the silver to the Temple Photo courtesy of imgbuddy.com |
Have I mentioned lately that the Lord has been gently convicting me that I am like sinful and unlovable Bible characters? Oh, yes, fun times.
And would you believe that one of them is Judas Iscariot?
And I thought Esau was bad!
Double awesome.
Now, don't misunderstand--I haven't completely forsaken Christ and become suicidal! But lean in for a bit and see the way in which Judas handled his sin, and perhaps like me, you will see a whole lot of Judas in yourself, too....
Check it out with me in Matthew 27, starting in verse 3:
"Then when Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, 'I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.' They said, 'What is that to us? See to it yourself.' And throwing down the pieces of silver into the temple, he departed, and he went and hanged himself."
What I find most interesting about this account is that Judah acknowledged his sin and actually named it as such. He made restitution, returning the silver he had received for selling out Jesus back to the chief priests in the Temple. He was also seized with remorse--so much so he actually hanged himself.
But amazingly enough, acknowledgement of sin, making restitution, and feeling remorseful is NOT the same as REPENTANCE.
You see, after all of that, Judas' heart remained unchanged. He felt sorrow, but not the godly sorrow that leads to true heart change and repentance. We see these two types of sorrow detailed in Paul's epistle in 2 Corinthians 7:10:
"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation
and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."
And in Judas' life, we clearly see that the worldly sorrow he experienced brought death. (Contrast that with the godly sorrow that Peter felt after he thrice denied Christ, which brought about salvation and led to the birth of the Church.)
While perhaps not as extreme, I too, am so often like Judas.
How often do I feel remorseful for something hurtful I have said or something hateful I have done, and even say I'm sorry to my friends and loved ones...and yet my heart remains unchanged?
How often do I work to change my outward behavior, making promises or resolutions, perhaps offering up a sacrifice or groveling, but make no attempt to seek out the Lord to change my heart at its sinful roots?
Perhaps I even work to contextualize my behavior, research it, or make a seemingly brilliant observation or personal insight about my sin...and yet, I do not lay it down and ultimately forsake it and abhor it for the heinous sin that it is?
And perhaps, dear one, you do these things, too.
I don't know about you, but I do not want to be like Judas Iscariot.
I don't want to live in a place of remorse, resolution, resentment, and reaction. Instead, I want to realize the depths of my sin and truly repent at the heart level. For as the Apostle Paul stated above in 2 Corinthians, that is the place that brings about abundant life and true salvation!
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