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| Source: Unsplash, Johannes Krupinski |
When you become a Christian as a child like me, you don't have much of a "before" story when it comes to overcoming heinous sins.
Yes, as a child I was selfish, lied, complained, disobeyed my parents, fought with my sister, and uttered dirty words from the back of the school bus, but I didn't get drunk at parties, sleep around, use drugs, or embezzle.
My battle with sin has been fought mostly as a Christian, within the walls of the church, in the context of a God-fearing home as a child, and later, within a godly marriage raising children in the faith.
And these are some of the toughest battlefields, in my humble opinion, because these battles can be subtle, often being entirely fought on the quiet turf of my heart and mind. Maybe these battles of thought and will go unnoticed. Perhaps, if they are acted upon, those who witness them are limited to my spouse or children, who might feel the blow of my angry words, see the spoils from impulsive shopping trips, or witness me power through a carton of ice cream. Unless we are honest with ourselves and transparent with our family and church community, these quiet battles can last for decades.
In fact, many of our sins as Christians are what late author and evangelist Jerry Bridges described as "respectable sins" in his excellent book by the same name. He discusses sin like pride, jealousy, anger, and judgmentalism among others, but like all sins, these serve to drive a wedge between our enjoyment of and fellowship with God.
Lately, I find the Holy Spirit frequently nudging my spirit when I turn to something--anything--besides Jesus for comfort, peace, courage, or support.
Is that fridge raid/drink/online shopping truly necessary? What posture is your heart assuming as you chase after [fill-in-the-blank]? Have you considered turning to me for love/comfort/peace/strength in this moment instead?
*Sigh*
I recently heard the testimony of Arielle, one of the co-hosts of the Girls Gone Bible podcast, discussing how it wasn't until she laid down her sexual sin as a Christian that she was completely free, and her mental health/depression/anxiety markedly improved. It makes me want to examine my own heart more closely with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The times when I do feel anxious or depressed...might they be connected with my holding onto sin--even "subtle" sins--instead of confessing them and running to my Lord as quickly as I can?
In truth, I think that one of the reasons I do not stop to confess these sins is that I don't honestly believe God can change my heart in regards to them.
Now, that might sound foolish, silly, and downright blasphemous to admit. Ought it not take more faith to trust God to forgive the "big" sins--like murder and adultry--than sins like anger and consumerism? I mean, wasn't it a more miraculous transformation for Paul to turn from persecuting Christians to preaching the gospel than it was for Timothy to faithfully lead the early church, coming from a God-fearing family of Lois and Eunice?
I think not. Even living a life of quiet, daily obedience is nothing short of miraculous.
I am currently trying to trust God with laying down a behavioral pattern of mine, relying upon Him to give me the courage and assurance that this sin—however big or small—has NO hold on me, based upon the truth found in Romans 6:5-11, 14
"For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus....For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace." (emphasis mine)
This passage makes it clear: sin has NO hold over us, because--through our union with Christ--we have died to sin and will be resurrected with Him.
This passage does not qualify sin--“big” sins, “respectable” sins, “small” sins, “subtle” sins; ALL are all included (as if we could categorize them anyway!)
So, I will trust in Him as I make this first step of confession and running to Him in this area of my life.
I don't have to figure out how to break free--He has already done it! I must simply turn to Him and trust Him, being faithfully obedient to what He calls me to do today.
And then run to Him with it tomorrow.
And then the next day, until I find that it no longer is a habit to me. He will set my paths straight as I lean fully on Him.
If there is something seemingly small in your life that the Holy Spirit is prompting you to let go of, would you be faithful to do it as well, dear friend? Not in your strength or power, but in God’s, knowing that you already have the victory in Jesus because you stand united to Him.
I hope you will join me, dear friend, as we trust Him to forgive the big and the small sins, the heinous ones and the respectable ones, one day at a time.
For He who calls us is faithful, and He will surely do it (1 Thess 5:24) ...
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