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| Photographer: Elizabeth Buckingham |
Well, today I'd love to discuss why I am truly grateful for anxiety. If you missed the story of my personal struggle with anxiety, feel free to catch up on that here. Now I confess, anxiety does not give me a warm, fuzzy feeling like so many other things I am grateful for (like snuggling with my children, sunny autumn afternoons, and cozy cups of hot cocoa, for starters!). But when I quiet my spirit and sit with my Lord, I realize why I am to be grateful for my struggle with anxiety.
- Anxiety helps me to be less self-reliant and proud. There was a time in my life when I believed that I could do it all--that I could set any goal and accomplish it (I mean, isn't that the good ol' American way?!). But anxiety helps me realize that I am truly weak and have nothing to boast in except Christ Himself (Philippians 3:1-11).
- Anxiety encourages me to depend upon the Lord for all things. Anxiety has put new meaning in these words from John 15:5, "for apart from me, you can do nothing." It is by God's strength and equipping that I am able to give a presentation to a room full of people, drive out-of-state, and even navigate the busy aisles of a supermarket without losing it! God tells us that His grace is sufficient for us, and that His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
- Anxiety allows me to genuinely appreciate others' strengths. It was not until I felt anxious in particular situations that I truly appreciated the giftedness of others. For example, I have friends who travel across the country with a van full of children, drive into the heart of metro DC to visit museums, and teach at corporate conferences. Instead of feeling bad that I struggle to do these things, I cheer my friends on and join them (in the passenger seat!). We ALL need each other!
- Anxiety encourages me to live in community. Anxiety (like depression, grief, and many other types of suffering) can be very isolating, because you think that you are the only one who struggles. However, I have found that just the opposite is true! Once you open about your own struggle, others feel safe to do so, too. And isn't that the way God has designed it to be? God tells us all throughout His Word that His plan for us is to live and grow within the context of a redemptive community.
- Anxiety helps me long for Heaven. Even during the best of times, the reality is that we live in a fallen, broken world. Holidays are hectic, vacations are stressful, people are...people. Struggling with anxiety has given me a true hunger and thirst for the peace and perfection that will only be enjoyed in Heaven with God Himself.
- Anxiety teaches me to distrust my feelings, and place my faith in God alone. Speaking from experience, it is hard to climb into the driver's seat when you feel anxious and afraid of the trip that lies before you! However, anxiety has taught me to face my thoughts and feelings head on, accept what they are, but then not let them control me. The only true reality is God and what HE says about my situation, not my feelings!
- Anxiety helps me to be patient with others' shortcomings. Oftentimes, I am very hard and critical of myself, and this can overflow to others. Why does this person always run late, act timid, or boss others around? But when I realize that I, too, have major shortcomings and failings, it gives me more patience with others, because we ALL need Jesus, ALL the time!
These are just some of the myriad ways anxiety keeps me humble and allows me to grow in godliness.
But please don't misunderstand: while I can be thankful for what anxiety has to teach me, I don't have to let it define or enslave me! Oh no, sister! I can learn to rise above anxiety as I seek to renew my mind and learn to trust God more, and my thoughts and feelings less (see Romans 12:2).
Our struggles are an area that needs godly wisdom and discernment. As we've discussed before, there are THORNS in our lives: trials that the Lord sees fit to allow into our lives to show us His all-sufficient grace, and then there are STRONGHOLDS: struggles that cause us to feel overpowered, mastered, and rend us ineffective in our Christian lives and ministries. It is imperative that we pray over these areas in our lives to discern the difference!
So, what about you, dear one? Your area of suffering might look very different from my own. Perhaps you are grieving the loss of a loved one, battling depression, or are grappling with chronic health issues or a terminal diagnosis. Would you, even in the middle of your pain and suffering, take a step back to see all the ways God is loving you, right here, right now? Would you be willing to open your heart, fall on your face, and thank Him, who has seen fit to hand you this trial from the palm of His hand? Will you seek His counsel regarding whether this is a thorn to make peace with, or a stronghold to overcome in your life?
May we, through His strength, lift up our hands and give Him thanks for ALL things, this harvest season. It may never be easy, but I trust that it will be good for the soul.
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