Family Worship: What It Is, What It's Not, and Why It Matters

Source: alliancenet.org

There's a Christian practice that is so near-extinct, you won't hear your church friends talk about it.  I've never heard a sermon or a podcast about it.  In fact, no one I personally know practices it (besides my family and me).  And yet, Charles Spurgeon, Matthew Henry, and scads of other preachers talked about it in centuries past.  In fact, many say that it has been one of the strongest characteristics of the Christian family throughout the history of the church.

What is this practice, you might ask?

It is a little known thing called family worship.

My family adopted this practice last fall, and I am here to tell you that it has been a total *game-changer* for our family. Experiencing regular family worship has brought unity, identity, peace, and purpose into our family unlike any other Christian discipline we've ever practiced.

In today's post, I'd like to explain what family worship is, what it is not, what it looks like for my family, and why it matters...for my family and for yours.

So what exactly is family worship? Quite simply, family worship is worshiping God together as a family in your home on a regular basis (daily or near-daily).  It involves Bible reading, prayer, and singing worship songs together.  Like the proverbial three-legged stool, it works alongside private worship (prayer, devotionals, personal "quiet times") and corporate worship (church worship services) to provide balance and stability for the Christian family.

Now, what is NOT family worship?  Family worship is not just family together time or reading Christian books together (there is a place for these, but separate from family worship).  Instead, it incorporates the same elements we see in corporate worship (minus the sacraments of baptism and communion, which are only appropriate in corporate worship settings): reading Scripture aloud, praying together, and singing worship songs together.  It involves every member of your family and is led by Dad (single-mother families being the exception).

Okay, so why does family worship matter?

Well, let me back up a bit first and give you some backstory.

Like I mentioned before, I've never heard a sermon on this topic or known a family to practice family worship.  However, I came upon the book A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home a few years ago at my church's book table and was intrigued.  I bought it and quickly read it over.

And then I shelved it.  For three years.

Even though the topic interested me, there were a lot of misconceptions I had that hindered us from putting it into practice.  Now, you might already know that I have morning devotionals--Bible reading, prayer, and catechism--with my children around the breakfast table each morning.  While not exactly easy (depending upon their ages and attitudes at the time), it has been very doable.  It simply involves sitting down over breakfast, cracking open a Bible or devotional book, and reading while the kids are occupied and eating.

Family worship, on the other hand, seemed to have too many moving parts.  It involves both Mommy and Daddy, which limits the time of day it can be done.  It involves corralling our kids together in one space to participate in an activity that does not involve eating (although family worship could always be tacked on after a meal).  It also involves singing, which is not as comfortable and familiar for us to do together as a family.  And I also struggled to see how it was really any different from the Bible teaching and prayer we were already doing around the breakfast table each morning.  Did we really need to tack on another thing to our hectic day? I reasoned.

And so the family worship book sat for years until I rediscovered it on our bookshelf last summer.  In truth, I was pulling it off the shelf with the intention to donate it; we were growing short on bookshelf space and I figured if I wasn't going to reread it or refer back to it for any reason, it might as well be out of our home.

But something stopped me from walking it straight to our book donation bag.  Instead, I asked my husband to read it and tell me what he thought about it, before I passed it along. I hadn't shared it with him when I had read it years ago (oops), and I figured I'd give him a chance to look it over before we got rid of the book for good.

Well, he agreed to read the book, and then things really started to get rolling.

I don't remember the exact conversation we had after he finished the book, but I can tell you that it lasted approximately 5 seconds and involved just as few words: probably some amalgam of "let's do this," "we should do this," or "we need to do this," followed by my one-word reply of, "okay."  We locked eyes, and we just knew we needed to experience this grace as a family as soon as possible.

And so (with much trepidation and skepticism on my part!), we gathered up the kids in our living room at 7:45 that very evening (fifteen minutes prior to bedtime).  My husband sat on the piano bench, facing the two chairs in our living room with a Bible in his hand, and the kids and I sat on the chairs, ottoman, and floor, looking up at him.  He figured we'd start with a gospel first, so we all voted on Mark (conveniently the shortest) and he read a chapter.  Then, we polled the room for prayer requests, topics of which ranged from boo-boos to grandparents to pets I am sure, and we took turns praying with Daddy going first, kids going as they felt led to pray aloud, and me closing us out.  Finally, Daddy swung his legs back around the piano bench to face the keys, and we sang two of the few songs we knew from memory at the time: Jesus Loves Me and He's Got the Whole World In His Hands, with only right-hand musical accompaniment.

Fifteen minutes.  Bible.  Prayer.  Singing.  Off-to-bed.

Now, we've been worshiping as a family on most nights for over six months to date.  Family worship looks a bit different from when we first started (like individual hymn booklets and fuller musical accompaniment!).  It is truly something that we look forward to--a perfect way to cap our day as a family.  When it is getting close to 7:45, the kids enjoy the excuse to run through the house and call out "FAMILY WORSHIP!!!" as loud as they can so everyone can gather together in the living room.  We laugh about the fact that our cat often comes to join us, too, once we all get settled in.  If we have an evening commitment, or on nights we host community group, we do not observe family worship.  But for the most part, whenever we are home, on weekdays and weekends, we worship together and plan TV time, games, and other evening activities accordingly. 

Now, before you conjure up some Currier and Ives lithograph of the perfect family and think to yourself oh, isn't that just so quaint, that might work for them but never for our family, I must set you straight--it NEVER looks perfect people!  The kids squirm.  Some days they are hyper and giggle uncontrollably.  They often ask rabbit-trail questions.  The cat crawls all over us and distracts us.  We sing off-tune.  We play wrong notes.  Oftentimes, there are arguments over who sits where and with whom.  They whine and grumble about who gets to chose which worship songs we sing and in what order (and for how many verses).  Sometimes, I daydream and can't focus on the Bible passages.  Some days, we can hardly stand to even be together because of previous sibling squabbles or parental disciplinary issues.  I could go on and on.  This is real life (in all its messy glory) at its best!

No, it is never perfect!  But that is precisely WHY we do it: we gather together every evening knowing that we are NOT the perfect family, but instead, we are desperate sinners in need of God's grace to be poured out on us as a family.

Now, before I close, I must share with you how much God has blessed our family through the grace of family worship.  I can truly say that family worship has done what nothing else has for our family: it has given us a firm sense of spiritual unity, purpose, and identity as a Christian family.  It has defined who we are as a family: worshipers of God, first and foremost.  It has book-ended our days, so that we start and end every day reading God's Word, centering our day (and therefore our lives, and our family) on Him.  It has also fostered peace in our family, as we come together to calm our spirits and reflect upon God, not on the cares of the day (or the issues we have with each other!).  And unlike any other Biblical practice I know of, family worship reinforces the spiritual headship of the father in our home.  Unlike during my morning Bible time with the kids, I am reminded during family worship that my husband and I are a spiritual team, commanded and equipped by God to disciple our children together, with my husband at the helm of the ship.

I know you probably have scads of questions and doubts about the practice of family worship; I know I did!  Let me direct you to the book I mentioned earlier.  It will go into far more detail about the what, why, and how of family worship than I could ever tell you.  It also offers practical help with issues like having an unbelieving spouse (or a spouse that is not on board), handling children of various ages, scheduling, consistency, attitudes, etc, and shares real-life testimonials from families currently practicing family worship, as well as from grown children who were raised in family worshiping households.

In closing, I strongly urge you and your spouse to prayerfully consider incorporating family worship into your family life, dear one!  I can personally tell you that it has been transformative for our household, and I trust it will be for yours, too.  It truly is a grace to be had, and not a burden to bear! I'll end with this quote from Jason Helopoulos's Neglected Grace book, which says it all so well:

We cannot speak about the Christian faith impacting our world, our country, or our community if it is not first impacting our homes--and few things will bring our Christian faith to bear in the home more than family worship.  We cannot cry out for the need for evangelism and others coming to faith, so that there are more worshipers before the throne, if we are not committed to worship ourselves--and this includes worship in the home.  We cannot complain about our children wandering from the faith if we are not making it the center of their upbringing in our home--and though family worship may not be the only way, it is surely one of the most beneficial ways.