Being vs. Seeming

Source: diariosoficiais.com

I've heard this idea of "being and not seeming" not once, not twice, but THREE times over the past month...and if I learned anything from my tenth-grade English teacher, it was this:

"If you read about it [a symbol, theme, etc] once, it's an occurrence.
If you read about it twice, it's a coincidence.
If you read about it three times...it's a paper topic." --Mr. Nickles

Since I've heard this idea framed in several different contexts recently, I thought I'd share some thoughts about it on today's post, as it has truly spoken to my soul and challenged my heart these past few weeks.

I first heard about this concept of "being vs. seeming" last month when my pastor was preaching about goodness, one of the fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians chapter five.  Pastor Walt defined goodness as "moral excellence, integrity, and uprightness," as it relates to our character, our comments (speech), and commitments.    He spoke about striving to put away ALL falsehood in our hearts, not merely appearing to be good, but actually being good.  He referred to the Latin phrase "Esse quam videri," meaning, "to be rather than to seem." (Which also serves as the state motto of North Carolina...fun trivia fact for tonight's dinner conversation!)

Christ exhorts us as believers to do this when He chastised the scribes and the Pharisees who were content to merely appear to be holy and lawful on the outside, but in actuality, were sinful and hard-hearted on the inside.  He warns them:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness...You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?..."  Matthew 23:27, 33

Pastor Walt didn't just stop there.  He went on to challenge us believers not to be selectively vulnerable with ourselves and others.  That is what is tempting for us all to do, whether it be in our personal interactions, on social media, and for me, on this blog.  For example, while we may be willing to be vulnerable in certain areas (like sharing about anxiety), we may fail to show true, godly integrity by neglecting our need for repentance and accountability with a secret sin we are embroiled in (like a pornography addiction, for example).  Now do not misunderstand: I am not saying we need to splash all of our fears, sins, and "air all our dirty laundry," so to speak, for all to see online and in our daily lives.  But what I am saying--and I think Pastor Walt was getting at--is that we must be honest with ourselves, and God, and grapple with this issue of seeming vs. being at the heart level.  Then, we must strive to be obedient to share our hurts, sins, and concerns with others as God sees fit.

Earlier today was the most recent occurrence when I learned more about this idea of "being versus seeming."  My daughter and I were watching an online writer's workshop given by author S.D. Smith on the Read Aloud Revival.  During this workshop session, Smith was telling young writers that it is more important to "be" a writer than to "seem" like a writer.  In other words, he was advocating for them to actually do the important and necessary work of writing (which is often non-glamorous and tedious, requiring discipline and consistency) rather than wearing the cool graphic "writer's" T-shirt or hanging out with their artsy friends, just trying to seem like a writer.

I know what S.D. Smith was talking about.

My "real" runner friends are content to run in whatever beat-up shorts and T-shirts they can find.  It doesn't matter.  As long as they have a good pair of running shoes, they are sure to hit the pavement day after day.  Sure, they might own compression stockings or quick-dry athletic shirts, but for them, the real joy of running is putting one foot in front of the other on miles-long trails.  Meanwhile, when I run a 10K, I make it my aim to raise support money, wear the flashy team jersey (and maybe a tiara sweat band!), and revel only in the cause.  My passion?  Clean water.  Theirs? The joy of running (which may or may not include non-profit organizations!).

So what about you, dear friend?  How have you "appeared" to be this week when others ask you how you are doing in the hallway at church or when you and a neighbor have stopped to chat?  Have you given consideration to how your social media accounts make you appear to be, versus how you actually are?  Are you content to only be selectively vulnerable with your small group at church or in your ladies' Bible study?  Or are you truly being honest with yourself, and the Lord, and opening up to give and receive from others the help and encouragement you need on your faith journey?

May we ALL endeavor to actually be what we are called by God to be, and NOT be content to merely seem to be that way, both in our daily lives, and online, in the days and weeks to come!