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| Source: Unsplash, Arlet Padron Benitez |
As I've discussed recently on the blog, my love for the local church has been growing over the past few years in surprising ways.
I say surprising because like we all know, the closer you get to something--whether that is a person or a thing--we begin to notice all its many imperfections.
For example, my skin might look smooth and even at first glance, but place me in front of a 3X magnification mirror, and I am suddenly horrified by all the sun spots, stray hairs, clogged pores, and wrinkles that I see.
We can experience this let down with people, too. Sociologist and author Sherry Turkle speaks to the "Goldilocks Effect" that characterizes our online relationships that technologies such as social media make possible. By placing people close enough to be considered friends, but yet far away enough that their "drama" does not impact our lives, we often do life at this "just right" distance in our relationships (and forfeit deeper love and joy in the process!).
In truth, we as Christians can fall into this "Goldilocks" dynamic, as well. We can go years just skimming the surface of church relationships, never getting past those few minutes of chatting with folks over coffee between services (if we decide to stay after the service at all). Or the opposite happens: many of of us life-long church goers could tell our own stories of disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, and hurt* we've experienced as we've gotten close to others in our church family and let down our guards, so we give up ever trying again.
Recently, as a few couples in the small group that my husband and I host were asking us about starting their own group, we had the opportunity to share about the highs and lows of doing life together by leading our fellow church members in this way. We discussed snack rotations, prayer request texts, and matters involving hospitality, but we also took the opportunity to let them know that by leading their own group, they, too, would get a front row seat to grief, sin, heartache, apathy, and questions about faith and life. I had to laugh when one wife said, "Stop it! You're scaring me!," but it is true--the hard comes with the good, and it is just the way God designed it, this side of heaven.
While grabbing coffee with my pastor recently, he shared about a passage of Scripture that has comforted us both as we've discipled, shepherded, and even parented. It is penned by the Apostle Paul who was writing to a very "messed up" church by all definitions. For example, when they shared the Lord's supper, some folks were getting drunk, while others were leaving hungry. One man was sleeping with his stepmother, which was a behavior even the pagens did not tolerate in that society! (see 1 Corinthians chapter 5) But Paul begins his letter to this broken church of Corinth in a most surprising way:
"I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge—even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you—so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." -- 1 Corinthians 1:4-9 (emphasis mine)
We see here that Paul was thankful for this church, and he was filled with love and hope!
He is confident that the Corinth church will not stay the way it was becuse GOD would be faithful to sustain them until the end.
Paul could look upon this imperfect bride of a church and see beauty, restoration, healing, and life.
And so can we, friend.
I must ask myself: how can I love this imperfect bride of a church, that is my local church body?
Because I am an imperfect bride, too! I am self-focused, slower to grow and change than I'd like, apathetic at times, and frequently distracted.
So I'd love to encourage us all to dig in, to get to know others at a deeper level within the walls of our local church. Sure there are things you'd change if you could, but we can all rest with hope and confidence, just like Paul, because God has said he is faithful to grow it and sustain it until the end. Go on that retreat. Join that small group. Volunteer on that work day; serve in that nursery.
You, and your church family, will be blessed that you did!
*hurt = non-abuse (to be clear, abuse ought never to be tolerated and the proper civil authorities should be informed and legal pathways persued, both within and outside the church)
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