Divorced

Image courtesy of judithjohnson.com

I am so thankful that I have not had to endure the tragedy of divorce in my family, either in my own marriage, my parents' marriage, or my grandparents' marriage.  However, as a Protestant Christian, in many ways I AM a product of divorce--the splitting of the Christian church during the Protestant Reformation.  Perhaps you are, too.

When divorces happen in families with children, the court decides which parent will have primary custody of the children.  Naturally, if they are young, this is done with no input from the children.  This is how I currently feel as a Christian.  I feel as though my great-great-great-great spiritual grandparents got a divorce and I was placed on the Protestant side of the family.  We were right--they were wrong.  We were normal--they were weird.  We were reasonable--they were narrow-minded.  We were free--they were bound up in a liturgical prison.  And there is really no need to talk to them or converse with them.  We ought to just live our parallel lives and stick to our chosen path.

And don't get me started about that crazy Uncle of theirs who lives at the Vatican!

For the first time in my life, I am seeking the truth about those distant relatives of mine.  Were they "real" Christians?  Who are these "Saints?"  Do I have a long-lost family?  Do I belong in a greater spiritual context than I currently enjoy?  Are these relatives really off-their-rocker?  If so, at least I will know for myself and can live out my separate spiritual life in good conscience.

So, as I wrestle with these thoughts, I am reading books about the first, second, and third century church leaders.  I am investigating the Catholic Church and investigating their liturgy in the Mass.  I recently attended a Catholic infant baptism, a First Communion, and two Mass services.  I've checked out titles from the Catholic church's lending library, and I'm listening to audio CDs from various Fathers and lay preachers.  I'm reading about and praying the rosary.  I am researching prayers of Saints like St. Patrick (love!!) and the uses of Holy Water.  I am continuing to wrestle with Marian and Eucharist theology.  Well, you get the idea!

It is sort of a wild ride, and for sure, a most uncomfortable one!!  I am finding that when I investigate one question, two fill its place!  But I am trying to take it all in stride and not rush--for if something appears to be true today...it will continue to be true six months from now!  I am also trying not to allow my mind to rush ahead--in fact, in many ways it reminds me of the courting process with my husband, all those years ago.  If I had tried to sort out how our lives and careers would be able to come together when we were in our first few months of dating, my head would still be spinning!  I am trying not to think too far ahead about the spiritual implications of my current church membership, my children's faith, etc, if what I am reading turns out to be true.  I am simply investigating and seeking answers from the Lord Himself; I know He is faithful to lead, guide, and reveal His Truth to me in His timing and in His perfect way.

So what about you, dear friend?  Have you taken the time to investigate your faith recently?  Do you know what you (and your church) believe and why you believe it?  Do you know what you believe to be true about the Eucharist and is it grounded in Scripture?  Do you know what the early church founders and leaders believed and the customs they followed and why--and does this impact what you need to be doing today?  I know...a lot of questions!  But ones that I feel are critical for each of us to wrestle with if we are to enjoy the fullness of our faith.  So feel free to come with me on this journey.  Investigate.  Ask.  Be open.  Pray.  Because I truly trust that, like Christ declared, the truth WILL set us FREE!