"Our hope is not in our getting it right, but in Him"
--Andrew Baxley, pastor
I am writing to you, feeling weary, in the midst of the journey of mothering three little ones.
I am tired of the daily chaos--those things I call the "shenanigans" of early childhood. The chasing each other through the house. The leaping off the furniture. The Legos...everywhere. The echoes of "HE called me...!!" or "Mama, SHE said..." or "he's not..." or "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
My soul longs to find rest in a quiet moment.
My soul aches to see the fruit of developing character in my children.
I model (albeit imperfectly). I teach. I counsel. I pray. I hug. I wipe boo-boos. I try to stop and really listen to them.
And still...they get it wrong. A lot.
I lose faith so easily--will they ever choose to be selfless? Will they ever stop bickering and fighting? Will they see what needs to be done and step in to do it, whole-heartedly and without complaint?
However, God has been faithful--I did see TWO glimpses of godly character in my son yesterday. I was climbing the stairs with an ironing board and he came in behind me and picked up the dragging end. Together we effortlessly carried the board the rest of the way to the laundry room. Later that evening, he pulled out a full trash bag that had been cinched tight in the kitchen trash can, hoisted it onto his shoulder, and walked out the front door with it to take it around to the side of the house.
Thank you, God!!
It is in these small, daily moments that I must pause and celebrate.
I must submit my expectations, and my time table to the Lord, and resign myself to wait and trust for Him to move in these little hearts.
And then I must faithfully carry on.
Modeling. Teaching. Counseling. Praying. Hugging. Serving.
I reflect upon how patient God is with us, and I am humbled. And I repent of my own self-righteousness and my impatience, and I lean harder into Him.
I pray that my faith would be attractive to these three pairs of eyes that see and watch and know my every move.
I trust that God is at work deep in their hearts, just as a seed swells and sprouts in the darkness of the moist soil, hidden from sight, transforming into a seedling that will break forth and stretch up to the sky and produce a mighty harvest.
For, the Holy Spirit brings it to my mind...was it not in a hidden place where a babe recognized the Messiah and lept in Elizabeth's womb?
Was it not from the depths of the tomb where Jesus called forth Lazarus to come forth and walk?
Was it not deep in a furnace where the shining figure preserved Daniel's friends from the flames?
And was it not in the belly of a whale where a prophet repented and truly understood the Lord's call on his life?
Why, is it not in these hidden places where God does His most transformative work?
Please Lord, give me the strength to persevere and live by faith, and not by sight!
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