The Fear of Missing Out

Source: Mitchlowephoto.com

We are an interesting creature, really.  On the one hand, we struggle to stand out, be noticed, and make a difference.  On the other hand, we want to belong to a group of people and feel included.

This shouldn't surprise us, really.  We, being individuals, were created for community, being image bearers of the triune, three-in-one, God.

For many of us readers, our very nation speaks to that truth as well, as evidenced on our coinage: E pluribus unum, one out of many.

We've talked on the blog before about how God deals with us as both a "me" and a "we" and about our need for a redemptive community.

However, I haven't really looked at the sinful manifestation of wanting to belong: the self-focused struggle with the fear of missing out.

This is so commonly experienced in the digital age of social media that it has its own acronym: FOMO

According to the urban dictionary, FOMO is the feeling of anxiety or insecurity over the possibility of missing out on something, such as an event or an opportunity: If I say no to a party invitation, I get a bad case of FOMO.

We all struggle with it, at any stage, and at any age, if we are truly honest with ourselves.

For many of us, we struggle with loneliness when we feel left out from belonging with our peers.  It seems that social media has amplified this feeling in recent years.  But even if you don't particularly struggle with this feeling of being left out, I would submit to you that FOMO still looms large in your heart; perhaps you've never just really looked hard enough.

The reason why I can say that with confidence is that we see FOMO back in the Garden, back at the start of recorded history in the pages of Genesis chapter three.  As Christian journalist Tony Reinke writes in his book 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You, 

"We can say that FOMO is the primeval human fear, the first fear stoked in our hearts when a slithering Serpent spoke softly of a one-time opportunity that proved too good to miss. 'Eat from the one forbidden tree, Eve, and you will be like God.'....In other words, the fear of missing out, was Satan's first tactic to sabotage our relationship with God, and it worked.  And it still does."

So, even if we don't feel the sting of FOMO within our peer relationships, there is still a deep part of us that struggles to believe that God is not withholding something good from us, something we want or need, something that will serve to give us more autonomy, power, and glory for ourselves.

While I still have a long way to go with my struggle with FOMO, I think I am beginning to recognize it for what it is and am more willing to bring it before the Lord with greater speed.  Instead of denying it and resisting it, I am learning to step into it and embrace it.

I truly don't want to miss out.

But the thing I don't want to miss out on is becoming more and more heavenly focused in recent months and years:

• I don't want to miss out at that amazing banquet table at the marriage supper of the Lamb.  (see Revelation 19:6-9)

• I don't want to miss out on the rewards God has for those who perform righteous deeds in anonymity.  (see Matthew 6:1)

• I don't want to miss an opportunity to throw crowns down at His feet. (see James 1:12, 1 Peter 5:4, Rev 4:10-22)

• I don't want to miss out on hearing those precious words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." (see Matthew 25:23)

I am coming to realize that as a believer, all that I could lose out on here on earth will ultimately be eternally found in Him.

In other words, experiencing the joy of perfect fellowship with Christ and His saints will vastly make up for any momentary loss that I might suffer here on earth.  No contest.

And so I will close with what Reinke so beautifully paraphrases from Paul's letter to the church in Philippi:

"I count every real deprivation in my life--and every feared deprivation in my imagination--as no expense in light of never missing out on the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord for all eternity."  (see Phil 3:8)

So friend, I must ask, what about YOU?

Do you struggle, like me, with FOMO in your heart?  Have you taken the time to prayerfully consider what FOMO means to you, and how it ought to be directed: either here on earth or heavenward?  If not, dear one, will you take some time out to examine your heart and ask God to change the desires found within it this week?  Today?

May we both walk in the freedom we have as believers to enjoy full and rich fellowship with God, even during our lifetimes here on Earth.  May we all be forever challenged...and changed...for His glory and our good.