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| Source: manolaw.blogspot.com |
As you learned from my last post, I have recently become very passionate about protecting and prizing my sexual relationship with my husband as the gift from God that it truly is.
However, as infrequently as we Christians discuss sex, it seems that we discuss the issue of pornography even less!
It seems a bit ironic--the world around us can't STOP talking about sex and pornography, while the Church remains quiet and withdrawn--and sex was created by God to be passionately enjoyed and treasured by His people (within the context of the marriage, of course)!
In my recent reading about sex and marriage, I came upon some very interesting information about one of the major causes of low libido among married men and women: pornography use.
Being a medical doctor, this truly surprised me! From my years in training, I have always been well-versed about a whole host of other causes of low libido: depression, chronic diseases, low sex hormones, stress, side effects from medications...the list goes on and on.
But pornography use was never on my radar as a physician!
In truth, however, the connection between pornography and low libido (and other sexual dysfunctions) is quite staggering!
Let me direct you to one online article that addresses this issue and quote a portion of it here:
"Experts say the problem is less about the amount of time someone spends viewing porn and more about how the habit affects their relationships and daily functioning. Research on the effects of looking at cyberporn is pretty limited, but a recent study of Italian men suggests excessive porn consumption can cause sexual anorexia — anxieties about sex or a fear of sex that limits intimacy. And the findings may also be important in the USA, since recent research suggests increasing numbers of American men are checking out cyberporn. Looking at porn regularly can hurt sexual performance because people may start needing stronger visual signals to become aroused. For some people who look at porn regularly, having sex may no longer even produce a physiological sense of reward. ...And it’s not just about who took out the trash last time — one survey found Internet porn is a growing factor in American divorce cases. While most porn viewers are guys, about one third of visitors to pornographic websites are women, and psychologists say women struggle with cyberporn addictions, too."
This is making an impact in the medical community today, too. What follows is an excerpt from a medical clincial trial, published in September 2016:
"Traditional factors that once explained men’s sexual difficulties appear insufficient to account for the sharp rise in erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, decreased sexual satisfaction, and diminished libido during partnered sex in men under 40....Clinical reports suggest that terminating Internet pornography use is sometimes sufficient to reverse negative effects...In the interim, a simple diagnostic protocol for assessing patients with porn-induced sexual dysfunction is put forth."
Folks, these articles speak to how pornography rewires the brain, impairs God-given relationships, and severely affects one's health and physical well-being.
And, even more sadly, pornography severely affects those of us who are in the church. Check out these statistics (from 2005):
- 47% of Christians say Internet pornography is a problem in the home
- 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography.
- According to pastors, the 8 top sexual issues damaging to their congregation are: 57% pornography addiction, 34% sexually active never-married adults, 30% adultery of married adults, 28% sexually active teenagers, 16% sexual dissatisfaction, 14% unwed pregnancy, 13% sexually active previously married adults, and 9% sexual abuse.
- 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to Internet porn before the age of 18
So, what exactly does this mean for us as believers, and what can we do?
First on the list is to protect your marriage and get serious in discussing this topic with your spouse. It is time to be honest with one another, and we must start with ourselves! We as Christian couples MUST take a stand and have a ZERO tolerance policy with pornography in our personal lives. We must not bring it into our homes or allow it on our mobile devices. If this is an issue in our marriage, we need to seek counseling with our pastors and Christian counselors and get the help we desperately need.
Secondly, for us Christian parents, we must commit to discuss this with our children--both our boys AND girls. (Full disclosure: I stumbled upon pornography years before my husband ever did when we were growing up!) Statistics tell us that age 11 is the average age of exposure to internet pornography for children. We parents must get serious about installing internet filters on our computers, but we cannot stop there--we must be committed to talking with our children about making good choices when they encounter pornography (because given time, they WILL, even with the best home-based internet filters! In fact, I have recently learned that the most common exposure to nudity occurs within friend-to-friend texting among young people, not commercial pornography!**).
Here's one such resource that I have found tremendously helpful in talking about pornography with my two older children, and I have loaned it out to many a friend! It discusses pornography--what it is, where it is, etc--but also speaks to how it actually rewires our brains and what you can do when you encounter it. (I went through it when my children were around 7 years old, but that is up to you, of course)
Thirdly, this must be an issue for fervent prayer, on behalf of ourselves, our church, and our nation at large. Use the statistics listed above or the infographic below (click on caption to see it enlarged) as prayer points, and be intentional to cover this in regular prayer!
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| Source: https://www.dio.org/safeenvironment/ffp.html |
Friend, we can't sit out on the sidelines and be silent any longer about the issue of pornography in our homes, our marriages, and our churches! We must have a NO porn policy, for the health of our marriages, households, and churches, and be prayerful and purposeful about this issue in our lives.
May we, dear one, be motivated in a fresh way to passionately pursue purity in our marriages and to model that for our children, while equipping them with helpful tools to use when they face temptation! Knowledge is power in this area--let us not be naive any longer about the impact of pornography in our churches and homes.
Thankfully, there is ALWAYS hope for us and our nation when we turn, repent from our sins, and trust in God's mercy, healing, and grace!
"...If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." --2 Chronicles 7:14
(**referenced from The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place...more on that wonderful resource in a future post!)
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