Since we are a homeschooling family, we live, work, and play in our home a lot. We open our home to weekly ladies' Bible studies and church small group. We frequently host play dates, invite over other families for dinner, and are a stop-in station for neighborhood children on a near-daily basis. In short, our house gets a LOT of use, and it has taken some planning on my part to keep it clean and organized over the years.
Now don't get me wrong--I certainly don't have it all figured out (and never will!), but like any good friend, I'd love to settle in and tell you what I DO know and what has worked for us. My hope is that this post will serve to encourage, inform, and inspire you...not make anyone feel less than, unworthy, or late to the party. Any day is a day you can start to change your housekeeping habits and routines. My only advice is to start small! I first started with deep-cleaning my kitchen sink on Fridays. That was it. Then I moved on to laundry on Mondays and Thursdays. Little by little, I started to create a structure to clean my home that has freed me to enjoy it more and spend less time working at it. Now, I'm actively working toward enlisting and empowering my children to do the same. It's never perfect, but it is progress. And that is what has made all the difference!
So, here's what has helped me, in no particular order:
1. Realize that no routine IS a routine. Not having a defined routine is not freedom...it's chaos. When I finally came to terms with that and saw that having no cleaning routine was in fact adding stress and sucking the joy out of our days, I became more willing to follow a cleaning schedule. Now, I am never a slave to it--life happens, company visits, etc--but it does serve us and enables us to keep the household moving on track. Kendra at Mother Like a Boss has some wonderful cleaning routines, tips, and tutorials if you want to learn more (website and podcast). Personally, I have found that it is best if I make up my own schedule, fitting in my household's unique needs. But pre-fab lists are a great way to start!
2. Change your mindset. In our household, we no longer call cleaning tasks "chores." Instead, we call them "household responsibilities." This was a tip Kendra changed my mind about, too! Each child has a responsibility that rotates on a monthly basis: clearing the table, unloading the dishwasher, dusting and vacuuming our living room and den. In addition, each child is responsible for cleaning their own room (thoroughly picking up, dusting, vacuuming) on a weekly basis. Obviously, the expectations have changed as the children have grown. (The internet is full of age-appropriate cleaning lists for kids: here is just one). We talk about how we "get to" clean our home because we "get to" live in this comfortable, beautiful space. We "get to" be messy with paints and clay, and so we "get to" put it away at the end of our craft time. Reframing our talk from we "have to" to we "get to" has made all the difference! Don't misunderstand--I've had to check my attitude and words just as often, if not more than the kids! But it has given me more joy in doing mundane things like hand-washing dishes and scrubbing out my shower and tub when I reframe it in my mind first.
3. Lower your expectations--I still battle with this one as I LOVE a clean and organized house, but it is worth saying to yourself and practicing often. Ultimately, connection and relationship must trump a clean bathroom or an organized closet. I've often had to learn, and relearn, this the hard way--yes, I have been that angry mother, wielding a trash bag, threatening the kids to clean their rooms or else! I've often had to repent of sacrificing the peace and harmony of our home on my self-made alter of "neat and clean." Over the years, I've realized that the sweet spot comes when I come alongside my children, teaching and equipping them to clean and declutter on days when I have the extra time and patience. Which brings me to my next two points...
4. Own less--this sounds simple, but it hasn't always been easy. However, this one reality has made a profound impact on my housecleaning. It didn't take long, when our babies were little and the time I could dedicate to housekeeping was very minimal, to realize that having fewer things out on our dresser meant an easier and faster job of dusting our master bedroom. In fact, I remember telling my husband that if there were more than five things on any particular surface, I wouldn't dust it (poor man!). Fortunately, he understood what I was getting at and was happy to be supportive and comply. This principle has held true over the years, too, and now my tween has minimized her room a bit to make less work of cleaning it herself. There's no way around it folks: if there is less stuff, then there is less time cleaning and maintaining the stuff, less time wasted picking things up, or moving them around, to clean off surfaces and vacuum floors.
5. Train your children to clean--notice I say train and not tell your children to clean. It took me a few years to fully understand this one! I would tell one of my children to dust the living room, and then be frustrated when I'd notice dirt (or a dead bug or two!) on the window sills. It wasn't until I realized that I had never showed them what "cleaning the living room" consisted of, that I reformed my ways. In our homeschooling lifestyle, I must deliberately carve out time for this. I have been known to put on my child's list of daily school assignments to "meet Mommy upstairs for a kids' bathroom cleaning tutorial." It has also meant posting checklists on the back of the bathroom and bedroom doors, so they can know what cleaning that room consists of in case they forget (or are tempted to make the false excuse of "I didn't know..."). Now, this has meant more time spent up-front, making the lists and teaching my children. After all, it is so much faster to clean it myself! However, I am confident that this teaching time will reap dividends on the back-end (and I am already seeing this!) as the kids take more and more ownership of cleaning their individual and shared living spaces. (FYI, we give our children a weekly allowance, but keep it unrelated to doing household responsibilities).
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| I place lists in plastic page protectors so the kids can check it off with dry-erase markers (if they wish) |
6. Use kid-friendly cleaning tools--for my household, this has meant ditching most of our store-bought cleaners and using Norwex brand cleaning cloths and water instead. I also use simple, multi-purpose natural cleaners (like baking soda and vinegar) that are kid-safe and easy to use. We also recently purchased a light, upright vacuum cleaner that stays on the top floor of our house and is used only for that floor. The kids helped to pick it out at the store and were comfortable with how easy it was to push and swivel on carpet. Now there's no more need for me to carry the main-level vacuum cleaner upstairs in order for them to be able to use it! Cloths and cleaners are staged where they can reach them, in the room they need them. Easy and convenient.
7. When all else fails--baskets and bins! This has been, and will probably always be, my favorite way to keep our house clutter-free. Baskets and bins make a space look tidy, but also allow for a lot of storage. They look nice and provide an easy system to maintain, even for the youngest child. If a toddler can dump a bin out, they can be shown how to pick things up and toss them back in. "Gamify" it if you have to, clean up to a song, or set a timer and race the clock! Baskets and bins can also grow with a child, being moved to closets or repurposed for another room. I often switch baskets from holding things to becoming home decor accents above our kitchen cabinets or in our entryway. You can never go wrong with baskets and bins!
I've seen it posted too many times that cleaning with kids is impossible, but it's not true! I'm not buying it, and neither do you! I hope this post has been helpful for you, offering you a few tips to try in your home or inspiring you to enlist and empower your children to come alongside you as you clean. I firmly believe they will thank you one day for teaching them these important life skills of cleaning!
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| I don't care what they say: cleaning with your kids does NOT have to be like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos! |
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