The Imperfect Bride

Source: Unsplash, Arlet Padron Benitez

 As I've discussed recently on the blog, my love for the local church has been growing over the past few years in surprising ways.

I say surprising because like we all know, the closer you get to something--whether that is a person or a thing--we begin to notice all its many imperfections.

For example, my skin might look smooth and even at first glance, but place me in front of a 3X magnification mirror, and I am suddenly horrified by all the sun spots, stray hairs, clogged pores, and wrinkles that I see.

We can experience this let down with people, too. Sociologist and author Sherry Turkle speaks to the "Goldilocks Effect" that characterizes our online relationships that technologies such as social media make possible. By placing people close enough to be considered friends, but yet far away enough that their "drama" does not impact our lives, we often do life at this "just right" distance in our relationships (and forfeit deeper love and joy in the process!).

In truth, we as Christians can fall into this "Goldilocks" dynamic, as well. We can go years just skimming the surface of church relationships, never getting past those few minutes of chatting with folks over coffee between services (if we decide to stay after the service at all). Or the opposite happens: many of of us life-long church goers could tell our own stories of disappointment, disillusionment, frustration, and hurt* we've experienced as we've gotten close to others in our church family and let down our guards, so we give up ever trying again.

Recently, as a few couples in the small group that my husband and I host were asking us about starting their own group, we had the opportunity to share about the highs and lows of doing life together by leading our fellow church members in this way. We discussed snack rotations, prayer request texts, and matters involving hospitality, but we also took the opportunity to let them know that by leading their own group, they, too, would get a front row seat to grief, sin, heartache, apathy, and questions about faith and life. I had to laugh when one wife said, "Stop it! You're scaring me!," but it is true--the hard comes with the good, and it is just the way God designed it, this side of heaven.

While grabbing coffee with my pastor recently, he shared about a passage of Scripture that has comforted us both as we've discipled, shepherded, and even parented. It is penned by the Apostle Paul who was writing to a very "messed up" church by all definitions. For example, when they shared the Lord's supper, some folks were getting drunk, while others were leaving hungry. One man was sleeping with his stepmother, which was a behavior even the pagans did not tolerate in that society! (see 1 Corinthians chapter 5) But Paul begins his letter to this broken church of Corinth in a most surprising way: 

"I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge—even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you—so that you are not lacking in any gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."                                                  -- 1 Corinthians 1:4-9 (emphasis mine)

We see here that Paul was thankful for this church, and he was filled with love and hope!  

He is confident that the Corinth church will not stay the way it was becuse GOD would be faithful to sustain them until the end.

Paul could look upon this imperfect bride of a church and see beauty, restoration, healing, and life.

And so can we, friend.

I must ask myself: how can I love this imperfect bride of a church, that is my local church body?

Because I am an imperfect bride, too! I am self-focused, slower to grow and change than I'd like, apathetic at times, and frequently distracted. 

So I'd love to encourage us all to dig in, to get to know others at a deeper level within the walls of our local church. Sure there are things you'd change if you could, but we can all rest with hope and confidence, just like Paul, because God has said He is faithful to grow it and sustain it until the end. Go on that retreat. Join that small group. Volunteer on that work day; serve in that nursery.  

You, and your church family, will be blessed that you did!

 *hurt = non-abuse (to be clear, abuse ought never to be tolerated and the proper civil authorities should be informed and legal pathways persued, both within and outside the church)

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United To Christ

Source: Unsplash, Antonio Castellano

I've been a Christian for over 35 years, but it wasn't until recently that I've better understood the profound theological truth that I am united to Christ.

Being "in" Christ is actually a very common way the New Testament authors describe our identity, position, and hope as Christ followers.  Several places in Scripture refer to this deep spiritual union (see 1 Peter 5:14; Philippians 1:1; Romans 8:1). Colossians 3:3 states it this way: “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” 

We also see a lot of ink spilled on this concept from early church leaders such as Ignatius of Antioch and Ambrose (the mentor of Augustine).

Personally, I've come to understand my oneness with Christ to be like conjoined twins. When I was an elementary student, I remember being taught that these were "Siamese twins"--a politically incorrect term today--but it speaks to the first recognized pair of conjoined twins from Siam (modern day Thailand), Chang and Eng Bunker, born in 1811. 

 

Chang and Eng Bunker

I had to write a report about these conjoined twins and tell my class all about their lives. Chang and Eng had fused livers and left Siam as teenagers to be part of the curiosities exhibition of P.T. Barnam. They toured Europe and the U.S. for over a decade, became wealthy, and settled down with wives in North Carolina to live out their days until they died at age 62. 

I remember being floored as a young student to imagine how they lived, traveled, married, and especially how they fathered 21 children, all while being united to each other. How in the world?! That must have been awkward!

But this is how I understand my relationship to Christ as a child of His.

He is not my side-kick or helper. He is part of me--we share a mind, a heart, a spirit. I can't uncouple myself from Him, go or sin or "do life," and then reattach myself at whim.  To put it more explicitly, if I were to hop into someone else's bed, cut someone off in traffic, or overdo it at a drinking establishment, Christ does all of these things, too. Conversely, because of my union with Christ, I can love people well. I can push back the dark thoughts, because I have a sound mind, the mind of Christ. He is in me; we are united.

Likewise, due to my unbreakable union with Him, there is no need for me to fear. Psalm 23:4 says it this way:

 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

Jesus is with me in a much more profound way than any other human ever could be. For example, when I gave birth to my children, my faithful husband was with me, wiping my brow, holding my hand, and cheering me on, but he was unable to actually enter into my pain and could never hope to experience it or know it. But Christ can and does.

Our union with Christ is also the foundation for our victory over sin. Because Jesus has conquered sin and death, we can, too.  More on this in another blog post, but for now, check out Romans 6:5-11 to learn more.

I think we would live very different lives as Chrisitians if we truly understood the profound truth that we are united with Him, inexorably and forever connected.

Would you be willing to consider this concept more fully this week, in your own life, dear friend?

You can start by looking up some of the verses peppered throughout this blog post or by reading one of the fantastic resources that have taught me much this past year:

Union With Christ by Rankin Wilbourne or One with My Lord by Sam Allberry.

May you--may I--take in the beauty and wonder of this exquisite truth of our union with Christ, and may it forever inform our day-to-day decision making, settle our spirits, and give us joy and hope unlike anything we've ever known.

 “There is no joy in this world like union with Christ. The more we can feel it, the happier we are.”  --Charles Spurgeon

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Small Victory, Big Win

 

Source: Unsplash,  Johannes Krupinski

When you become a Christian as a child like me, you don't have much of a "before" story when it comes to overcoming heinous sins.

Yes, as a child I was selfish, lied, complained, disobeyed my parents, fought with my sister, and uttered dirty words from the back of the school bus, but I didn't get drunk at parties, sleep around, use drugs, or embezzle.

My battle with sin has been fought mostly as a Christian, within the walls of the church, in the context of a God-fearing home as a child, and later, within a godly marriage raising children in the faith.

And these are some of the toughest battlefields, in my humble opinion, because these battles can be subtle, often being entirely fought on the quiet turf of my heart and mind. Maybe these battles of thought and will go unnoticed. Perhaps, if they are acted upon, those who witness them are limited to my spouse or children, who might feel the blow of my angry words, see the spoils from impulsive shopping trips, or witness me power through a carton of ice cream.  Unless we are honest with ourselves and transparent with our family and church community, these quiet battles can last for decades.

In fact, many of our sins as Christians are what late author and evangelist Jerry Bridges described as "respectable sins" in his excellent book by the same name. He discusses sin like pride, jealousy, anger, and judgmentalism among others, but like all sins, these serve to drive a wedge between our enjoyment of and fellowship with God.

Lately, I find the Holy Spirit frequently nudging my spirit when I turn to something--anything--besides Jesus for comfort, peace, courage, or support.

Is that fridge raid/drink/online shopping truly necessary? What posture is your heart assuming as you chase after [fill-in-the-blank]? Have you considered turning to me for love/comfort/peace/strength in this moment instead?

*Sigh*

I recently heard the testimony of Arielle, one of the co-hosts of the Girls Gone Bible podcast, discussing how it wasn't until she laid down her sexual sin as a Christian that she was completely free, and her mental health/depression/anxiety markedly improved. It makes me want to examine my own heart more closely with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The times when I do feel anxious or depressed...might they be connected with my holding onto sin--even "subtle" sins--instead of confessing them and running to my Lord as quickly as I can?

In truth, I think that one of the reasons I do not stop to confess these sins is that I don't honestly believe God can change my heart in regards to them.

Now, that might sound foolish, silly, and downright blasphemous to admit. Ought it not take more faith to trust God to forgive the "big" sins--like murder and adultry--than sins like anger and consumerism? I mean, wasn't it a more miraculous transformation for Paul to turn from persecuting Christians to preaching the gospel than it was for Timothy to faithfully lead the early church, coming from a God-fearing family of Lois and Eunice?  

I think not. Even living a life of quiet, daily obedience is nothing short of miraculous. 

I am currently trying to trust God with laying down a behavioral pattern of mine, relying upon Him to give me the courage and assurance that this sin—however big or small—has NO hold on me, based upon the truth found in Romans 6:5-11, 14

"For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus....For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace." (emphasis mine)

This passage makes it clear: sin has NO hold over us, because--through our union with Christ--we have died to sin and will be resurrected with Him.

This passage does not qualify sin--“big” sins, “respectable” sins, “small” sins, “subtle” sins; ALL are all included (as if we could categorize them anyway!)

So, I will trust in Him as I make this first step of confession and running to Him in this area of my life.

I don't have to figure out how to break free--He has already done it! I must simply turn to Him and trust Him, being faithfully obedient to what He calls me to do today.  

And then run to Him with it tomorrow.  

And then the next day, until I find that it no longer is a habit to me. He will set my paths straight as I lean fully on Him.

If there is something seemingly small in your life that the Holy Spirit is prompting you to let go of, would you be faithful to do it as well, dear friend? Not in your strength or power, but in God’s, knowing that you already have the victory in Jesus because you stand united to Him.

I hope you will join me, dear friend, as we trust Him to forgive the big and the small sins, the heinous ones and the respectable ones, one day at a time. 

For He who calls us is faithful, and He will surely do it (1 Thess 5:24) ...

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Lean Not

 

Source: Unsplash, Rapha Wilde

It is rare that I spend any length of time meditating upon and studying one or two verses of the Bible.  But this summer, I've been camped out on Proverbs 3:5-6 for the past 3 months. 

It is a familiar passage for many of us:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

And with the help of Megan Fate Marshman's book, Bible study, and streaming videos, I've been able to deeply dive into this passage. 

Her chapters are entitled "Trust in the Lord" and "With All Your Heart," followed by "Lean Not" and then "On Your Own Understanding."

In this way, you are not only dipping into a concept, but bathing in it, meditating upon it, and being honest with your own heart before God.

But this isn't just a book review blog post, because God has been teaching me more about trusting Him and leaning on Him, far outside the reaches of these pages.

You see, I have had the privilege of helping a family member this summer who has suffered through a diagnosis and surgery that has left her with the need to relearn how to ambulate and how to transfer seats, among other skills.

For one week, I had a front-row seat to watch how she would muster the strength to stand, sling her arms around her father's neck, transfer her full body-weight to his strong frame, and then pivot from the couch into her wheelchair.  

It was almost like a beautifully choreographed dance--stepping out, transferring weight, trusting, pivoting, placing feet, moving throughout the home, moving throughout her day. It wasn't necessarily glamourous--no glittery ballgowns or high-heeled shoes--but a beautiful waltz none-the-less of trust, faith, and surrender.

How ridiculous it would have been for her to lean upon herself--how unproductive, and frankly, how dangerous!

And of course, as I watched this object lesson over and over again, each day while we stayed with our family, the Lord would bring these questions to mind in my own life...

Do you trust me enough to lean your FULL weight upon me?

Do you see how foolish it is to lean upon your own strength and understanding?

Do you see the simple beauty of this dance...this Gospel Waltz? (another great book I'd highly recommend!)

And so I sit in the silence and ponder these questions afresh, all these days later.

Trusting God as we launch our first daughter to college, 1500 miles away.

Trusting God as we pivot to homeschooling high school for our youngest daughter.

Trusting God as we minister in new ways in our local church.

Trusting God with our futures, with our finances, with all things seemingly great and even those that seem trivial and small.

Leaning upon Him and trusting His wisdom, and not upon my own...for this moment, for this day, for this season.

Will you lean into this dance, as well, dear friend, in the areas where God has been nudging you to trust Him fully? I pray that we would be a part of this beautiful dance, as we rely on the Holy Spirit to guide and to give us strength, every moment of every day.

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Your Story Matters

Source: Unsplash

As Christians, we know that Jesus is our ultimate Victor.

He is our Defender, our Righteousness, our Savior, our Lord.

Revelation paints a beautiful picture of the final battle that will bring an end to our Accuser, the Satan (see chapter 20), as he is cast into the lake of burning sulfur.

However it wasn't until recently that I was made aware that this beautiful victory is also made possible by the testimony of the Saints.

Look with me in Revelation 12:10-12

"And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, 'Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them!...'"(emphasis mine)

I think this helps to explain my need to hear the stories of faith, endurance, suffering, and victory in the lives of my fellow Christian brothers and sisters.

Once upon a time, this might have felt "optional" to me.

Looking back, I think I always categorized my church as "helpful."

As a child, I was faithful to attend a local church (and I have my parents to thank for that!). As a college student, single professional, and as a married adult, I have consistantly sought out the local church, attending on a weekly basis, becoming a member, and serving alongside the saints.

But it hasn't been until recently that I have determined in my spirit--in my core--that this is not just "helpful" to me as a Christian to be a part of the body of Christ. No, I now understand that it is ESSENTIAL.

And now, I have more Scripture to help me understand this biblical truth.

You see, I need your story.

It does not merely "help" me in my journey of faith.

It does not merely "encourage" me.

No, friend. It is an essential part of the victory of Light over Dark, Good over Evil, the Kingdom of God over the Kingdom of Satan.

I NEED to hear your story, your testimony, all the ways in which you currently see God move in your life...all the ways you have seen God move in your life.

I NEED to hear your story, teenager.

I NEED to hear your story, college student.

I NEED to hear your story, professional single.

I NEED to hear your story, young mother of three.

I NEED to hear your story, empty-nester.

I NEED to hear your story, octogenarian.

I NEED to hear your story! And thank you for sharing it with me, trusting it with me...and I hope you can benefit from mine, dear friend.

May we NEVER forget that the testimony of the saints helps to conquer our Accuser...and may we forever stand in the victory of the Lamb!

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