Reforesting Faith

I have been fascinated by trees and what they have to teach me about faith for years.

I've been praying that my children grow to become "mighty Oaks of Righteousness" since they were little.

So imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered that there is an entire book written about the theology of trees (and by a medical doctor, like myself, I might add!)

I devoured this gem in a single day and just had to tell you about it, too, dear friend.  It is entitled Reforesting Faith: What Trees Teach Us About the Nature of God and His Love For Us authored by Matthew Sleeth, MD.

If you are a nature-lover like me, I am sure this book will serve to refresh and encourage you as you follow the path of trees God laid out through the Scriptures.

I never realized that the opening and closing chapters of the Bible, the first Psalm, and the first page of the New Testament include trees. 

Nor did I ever know that most major biblical characters and events are marked by trees.

Both Jehovah God and Jesus Christ frequently called and commissioned their followers from under, or within, a tree (or bush).

A tree was the only thing that Jesus ever harmed (interestingly, a fig tree--the same kind of tree that bore the leaves Adam and Eve used to hide their nakedness from God; see Matthew 21:18-22).

And conversely, a tree--in the form of a cross--was the only thing that could harm Jesus. 

Trees teach us to take the long view of life.  They are the oldest living organisms on the earth and the largest living organism (that prize goes to a stand of aspen trees sharing the same root system in the state of Utah).  They are the only thing on the planet that gains a ring every time they do a lap around the sun. It is as though God is literally marking time with trees.

Trees make us feel small, and they remind us that compared to them, our lifespan is very brief.

General Sherman, Giant Sequoia

Trees are also symbols of hope and resurrection.  Noah's ark was built from trees, the dove returned with a branch from a tree, God's Tabernacle was made from trees (covered in gold), and we will live forever with Him at the Tree of Life in the new heavens and the new earth.

Huge biblical concepts like wisdom are compared metaphorically to trees.

"She [wisdom] is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her;

    those who hold her fast are called blessed."  Proverbs 3:18

They are one of the few things that continue to give, even in their death, as they supply us with building materials for our homes and furniture.  Does this remind you of anyone?

Trees have much to teach us about who God is and how He loves and calls us.

This brief book summary is just scratching the surface of the goodies found within the pages of Dr. Sleeth's book!

If you'd love to know more, I hope you will treat yourself to this little treasure this summer.

It makes for a wonderful summer-time, lake-side read!

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Going "Old-School"

Source: blackhorsegarage.com

I don't know about you, but around my house, we can quickly fall into ruts.  If we are not careful, we will grab the same old shirt to wear or cycle through the same ten meals for dinner.

When that happens, I know I need to put the clean shirts on the very bottom of the T-shirt drawer or spend some time leafing through one of my cookbooks to try out a new recipe.

The same can happen in our devotional times with the Lord. We can reach for the same (or similar) books and resources and miss out on experiencing a fresh perspective of the Scriptures.

Now, don't misunderstand me.  The Bible is all that a follower of Christ needs for spiritual growth and insight, and no devotional material or book should ever replace it!   But devotional materials such as Bible studies, books on Christian living, and prayer books certainly enhance my understanding and application of Scripture in my daily life.

One of the ways I've been blessed in my spiritual journey recently is by reading books written in previous centuries.  As we know, God's truth never changes and applies to everyone--it stands the test of time, cultural differences, language barriers, etc.  That is what makes reading older books so refreshing--you can see the truth of the Scriptures set in a much different context than 21st century western culture.

So what books have encouraged me to date?

There have been many, but my favorites include Charles Spurgeons' The Power of Prayer in a Believer's Life and the Puritan collection of prayers and devotions, The Valley of Vision (compiled in the 1970s by Arthur Bennett).

I'd also recommend reading something from outside of your personal denomination.  For example, if you are Southern Baptist, I'd encourage you to read books from the Reformed theology tradition (Tim Keller, D.A. Carson, and Paul Tripp, to name just a few must-read authors). 

I'd even go so far as to say that if you are Protestant, be sure to read some Catholic resources--I'd recommend starting with G.K. Chesterton.  And if you are Catholic, be sure to read some Protestant resources--a great place to place to start is with C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity.

As always, be wise and discerning as you read; we ought always to bring forth anything we read or hear into the light of Scripture (even the messages we hear from our home church pulpit!).  

But I trust that in this way, as you read through materials penned in centuries past, your faith will be enhanced and revitalized, dear friend!

(P.S. Don't forget to go "old-school" with worship music as well!  Here's a previous post about the value of learning and singing hymns, with linked resources inside!)

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Extraordinary Eyes

Source: www.amazon.com

One of my favorite read-aloud books is Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes by Jonathan Auxier.  The kids and I enjoyed this middle-grade fantasy novel about the adventures of a very precocious orphan, Peter Nimble, who excelled at thievery, despite being blind, and had an amazing ability to use several sets of magical eyes.

One set of eyes had the astonishing ability to transform him into the last thing he touched.  Another whisked him away to a far away land.  At the book's conclusion, the third set of eyes restored his natural eyesight.  It seemed that he (with the help of his animal side kick) could get out of all kinds of scrapes and misadventures by using these three sets of fantastical eyes at whim.

All this got me thinking that I, too, would love to have a set of magical eyes.

Eyes to see others how God sees them.

Eyes of compassion.

Eyes of faith.

Eyes filled with love, mercy, justice, truth, and courage.

In short, a pair of Jesus' eyes to see the world as He does.

Yep, these would completely transform my life and the lives of those around me!

Thankfully, as followers of Christ, you and I have heavenly access to the Father and can pray for these eyes of Christ to see others and the world like He does.

Will you join me in prayer for these extraordinary eyes this week, dear friend?

Another Christian brother, Brandon Heath, has given us a beautiful song to this effect, called Give Me Your Eyes.  I'll close today's post with an excerpt from these song lyrics for us both to reflect upon today:

"Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see."

Source: www.wikipedia.com

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How Reading Fiction Has Transformed My Prayer Life

Source: medium.com

Something very unexpected has profoundly affected my prayer life in recent years.

To be quite frank, it hasn't been the Bible studies I've done about prayer, although I've done several that were meaningful for me.

It hasn't been the pre-printed prayer calendars and prayer guides my church gives out in our foyer.

It hasn't been my prayer journal, although it definitely keeps my prayers more organized, and helps me to see and record how God is faithful to answer my prayers.

Surprisingly, it has been fiction books.

Yep, you read that right.

Novels.  Secular novels.

I think the way that novels have most impacted my prayer life is by opening my heart to walk alongside another person (even if that person is a fictional character) through their story of heartbreak, loss, persecution, and injustice.  And by walking with them, to listen to their story, and to ultimately care--at the heart level--about things that don't personally affect my life here in modern America suburbia.

Fiction has opened my eyes to other cultures, and grown in me an interest to learn more about their history (which oftentimes, is a very difficult and violent one).

It has provided a safe window into another part of the world--especially those places that are war-torn and unsafe to travel to--to help me get to know it, and grow to appreciate it, and even have a heart for it.

I'll never forget reading Khaled Hosseini's books, The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns about five or six years ago.  I remember just weeping--like seriously ugly crying--over the nation of Afghanistan, where these books are set.  I wept over the religious oppression and cruelty of the Taliban, over the injustices suffered by women at the hands of men, and over the prejudice and abuse suffered by the Hazara people.

I remember being quiet and sad all day long after I finished Hosseini's second novel, as I was going through the daily motions of taking care of my toddler, preschooler, and kindergarden-aged children.

Looking back though, it was a good quiet and sad day.  It was a sadness that was knitting compassion into my heart, growing me as a child of God to care about some of the other people He deeply loves.

Here's how I see it: when things get scary and uncomfortable on the news, it is too easy to turn the channel or throw down the newspaper.  Honestly, what I do most often is to avoid news sources all together.

But with fictional stories, these characters--these people--soon become your friends.  Instead of running away from their story, you find yourself leaning in when the subject gets uncomfortable and you listen with more intent to hear...and to feel...and to care.

Unlike any other worldly means, fiction has broken wide-open my capacity for love and compassion.

In truth, fiction stories have messed me up in all the right ways.

They have helped me truly feel.

They have made me care.

They have helped me to love people on a deeper level.

In fact, they have motivated me to get to know real people from these other cultures.

Recently, I've been adding autobiography into my reading mix.  I recently read I Am Malala, written by Malala Yousafzai, a young Pakistani girl who stood up to the Taliban for girls' rights to go to school.  I was pleased to find out that she is currently 21-years-old and studying at Oxford, after being the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.

So now, instead of your run-of-the-mill family and friends prayer requests, I am finding my prayer list is being overrun with topics such as the red-light district of Amsterdam, women in Iran, and US/Taliban peace talks in Afghanistan.

All because I've read my way there.

I'll end today's post with a short book list if you want to read your way into a new prayer life, too, dear friend.  I won't promise this list is a good one if you are a sensitive reader, but each of these titles have messed me up in a good way...to PRAY!

BOOK LIST

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi (technically memoir)

I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban (also exists in a young readers format)

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

To Kill A Mockingbird  by Harper Lee

Habibi by Naomi Shabib Nye

A Window on the World (an excellent non-fiction prayer resource for adults and kids alike, great for country look up AFTER you've read your fiction book)

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Respecting Our Sons

Source: beautyworthsharing.com

I've always been aware that parenting my son is very different from parenting my two daughters.

For one, there is the task of sewing knee patches into pants, stepping over remote-controlled car ramps, and the seemingly endless business of fort building and tree climbing.

But there is also a very important distinction as I parent a boy, and that involves the rather daunting subject of respect.

You see, even from those early toddler years, I noticed that this boy--this "boy-man," I like to call him--responded to me in a different way from my first-born daughter.

For one, he seemed to need more eye-contact and direct addressing.

He also seemed to get more angry when decisions were made for him, and when he felt that he had no say in day-to-day matters.  He'd have tantrums when we had to leave a playground or wait in a line, and it took me years to understand that I needed to give him clearly laid out verbal expectations for particular places or situations.

He also needed to have his questions answered and his thoughts heard, way more often than my daughter did.

And even though he still snuggles in for a hug and likes to hear the words I love you, he doesn't really settle down or seem truly satisfied until he feels respected.

This past summer I was able to dive into this subject of respect by reading Emerson Eggerich's book, Mother & Son: The Respect Effect.  It made me stop and think about the importance of mutual respect in our relationship, what it looks like, and how truly weighty it is for how my son gives and receives love.

While I was reading the book, I remember asking my son which he'd rather have: love or respect.

I'll never forget his answer: "What's the difference.  Aren't they the same?"

I was shocked by his response!

No! They are not! 

I can respect the President of the United States but not love him (okay, this particular administration is difficult to respect, but I hope you can see what I am driving at!).

But to my son, love and respect are the same.

My son feels genuinely unloved when he feels disrespected.  And he feels genuinely loved when he feels respected.  They are intimately linked to him, synonymous.

So, what exactly does respect look like with my son, who is younger, less mature, and not-as-wise as me?

Well, this is how it has fleshed out over the past six months, as I've made myself more aware of his need for respect, as I aim to love him well as a mother.  Please, allow me to put this in a bullet-list format, for the sake of ease.

Respecting my son looks like:

• having a positive regard towards him, no matter what he does or says
• verbally expressing clear and fair consequences (some of which he has a say in...oh, and trying my best to faithfully adhere to them!)
• validating him as a leader, whenever possible
• making eye-to-eye contact, moderating the tone and volume of my voice when I confront him
• saying to him: "I am sorry. Will you forgive me for being disrespectful to you?"
• inviting him to say: "Mom, I feel like you are not respecting me."
• listening to his thoughts and opinions, as best as I can.
• talking about manhood with him and what "real men" do and say
• saying things like "I can respect that" or "I respect that" when he talks about doing, or does, particular things worth esteeming
• simply saying, "I respect you," instead of "I love you" all the time

It has taken a lot of humble prayer on my part, asking God how I can come alongside of my son, respecting him as the special "boy-man" God has made him to be, as I also command respect from him in the role of authority I have as his mother. 

This can be difficult when I am jarred by my son's sin and shortcomings!  And I am never perfect in this parenting gig myself! But I am trying to accept that he is not perfect, will never be perfect, and neither am I; we both need Jesus' grace and unconditional love and forgiveness, every minute of every day, and we need to run to Him...together!

If you have a son, I'd encourage you to get a copy of this book and prayerfully read it (and implement it!) for yourself and your family.

I pray that we parents would continue to learn and grow in the high calling that we have as Christians, resting in the promise of our Father to guide us and lead us as we parent our children for His glory!

"He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young."  Isaiah 40:11

May God help us as we try to respect our sons and love them well!

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Extravagant Grace

Source: gospelcenteredwoman.com

Do you recall that selfish Sabbath I spoke about the other day?

Well, God gave me such a gift that morning, as I was shopping my church's bookstore (it is actually just a bookcase, filled with books and materials for sale).  I came across the book Extravagant Grace: God's Glory Displayed in Our Weakness, and I took it home with me.

After my bath that evening, where I had wept over my sin, I started into this book, and realized just how providential the timing was for me to read it.

It is the sort of book that feels like a refreshing gulp of water, or a cool breeze in your face on a sticky, hot summer's day.

I kid you not: I inhaled all two-hundred and twenty-nine pages of it in the course of a day.

It is written by Barbara Duguid, a pastor's wife and mother of five, and based on the writings of John Newton, the 18th-century English clergyman, best known for penning the words to the world's most famous hymn, Amazing Grace.

It speaks to the process of sanctification, whereby we as Christians become more and more like Christ.

Barbara writes frankly about how we Christians can feel defeated, as we see the sin that still wages in our hearts, long after we've known Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  She notes that while many books have been written on the subject of sanctification, John Newton's writings stand apart for one reason: he is unabashedly honest about how he still wrestled with sin as a Christian, and how this ultimately served to glorify God and lead to his good.

Sounds kinda shocking, does it not?

Barbara writes:

"God could have saved us and made us instantly perfect.  Instead, he chose to save us and leave indwelling sin in our hearts...God thinks that you will actually come to know and love him better as a desperate and weak sinner in continual need of grace than you would as a triumphant Christian warrior who wins each and every battle against sin.  This makes sense out of our experience as Christians.  If the job of the Holy Spirit is to make you more humble and dependent on Christ, more grateful for his sacrifice and more adoring of him as a wonderful Savior, then he might be doing a very, very good job even though you still sin every day." page 30

What exactly is God's goal for us as we mature in faith?  Is it simply that we sin less and less, or is it that we see our sin more and more?

While I might picture sanctification as growing in the ability to live out the "victorious Christian life" (which usually involves fantasies of serving out of my own strength and knowledge), biblical sanctification looks more like growing in humility, dependence upon God, and gratitude for His sacrifice on the cross, grace, mercy, indwelling presence, inheritance, well, the list could go on and on!

Barbara's book also challenged me in other ways, especially when she discussed the marks of a mature believer and the role of God over the process of sanctification.

I definitely will continue to reflect upon a few things, after reading her book, such as:

• Perhaps the marks of a "mature" Christian have more to do with extending grace and mercy to others, rather than with "sinless" living.

• Perhaps sanctification has more to do with God's working in my heart, than in my following Christian disciplines (just the timing of me coming across this book helps me to see how God is the lover and Shepherd of my soul, sovereign over the teaching of my heart!).

I'll end today's post with Newton's description of the life of a maturing believer because, if I am honest, it makes me chuckle and wince, all at the same time:

"a wilderness of conflict in which the sinfulness of our hearts is repeatedly and lovingly exposed by God." p. 54

In his words, the maturing believer will spend many years learning that he is more sinful than he ever imagined, in order to discover that he is indeed far more loved than he ever dared to hope!

What about you, dear friend?  Do you, like me, continue to wrestle with the sin in your heart, even years (or multiple decades!) after following Jesus?  Does it discourage you, frighten you, and make you feel defeated?  Perhaps you, too, will be surprisingly informed and encouraged after reading this book!  It was a healing balm for my soul this week!

May you and yours enjoy a very blessed Thanksgiving!

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Being Changed By What You Read

Source: elements.envato.com

With my kids a bit older now, I've been jumping back into reading in a BIG way these last few years.

But recently I've been struggling with retaining what I read in a meaningful way.

I don't just want to plow through mounds of book.

I want them to change me.

I just love this quote from educator and author Mortimer J. Adler:

"In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you."

Exactly.

Problem is, how does that process happen?

I already read with a pen in hand, or a tin of book darts handy, and make notes or transfer important lines or quotes into a commonplace journal.

I've been keeping up with what I read using a reading journal, and I keep a list of yearly reads on my desktop (and update my list of Recommended Reads here on the blog).

I read slowly enough to comprehend what I am reading, and feel like I have a good grasp of what the author is trying to teach me, or the plot line and characters of a work of fiction.

I talk to others about what I am reading, and sometimes post here on the blog about books that particularly inspire, challenge, and equip me in life.

But, overall, I still feel like a LOT of useful and transformative information is just leaking through the cracks of my mind!

I've been doing a bit of online research about this topic recently, about doing this reading thing...better.

Here's just a few highlights I've come across:

• Don't be afraid to reread books
• Skim first, then read thoroughly through the book
• Read in paper format (vs computer screens or Kindles)
• Picture in your mind what you are reading and try to associate it with things you already know or have experienced
• Read out loud
• Ask yourself questions about the material

At first blush, I think I need to do a better job of asking myself questions about the material.  Does the author have the authority to say what he or she is saying?  Does it square with what I already know to be true?  Do I agree with how the plot is moving or would I write it differently?  Is this action out of character?  

I also think I can do a better job of just jotting down some free associations with what I am reading.  Maybe a brainstorming web or bubble chart, like the kids use in elementary school.  That might even be a fun break for me, as I usually journal left to right in a linear format.  Maybe I could draw or use symbols, imagery, or colors as I read, to cement down my initial impressions.

Here's an excerpt from a fantastic article about rereading books in The New Yorker entitled "The Curse of Reading and Forgetting" by Ian Crouch: 

"Part of my suspicion of rereading may come from a false sense of reading as conquest. As we polish off some classic text, we may pause a moment to think of ourselves, spear aloft, standing with one foot up on the flank of the slain beast. Another monster bagged. It would be somehow less heroic, as it were, to bend over and check the thing’s pulse. But that, of course, is the stuff of reading—the going back, the poring over, the act of committing something from the experience, whether it be mood or fact, to memory. It is in the postmortem where we learn how a book really works. Maybe, then, for a forgetful reader like me, the great task, and the greatest enjoyment, would be to read a single novel over and over again. At some point, then, I would truly and honestly know it."

So, in the spirit of letting more books "get to me" rather than me getting to all the books, I put down Great Expectations last week (my first Dickens novel--how did I miss reading him in school?!) and picked up Emma again.  I first read this novel back in March of this year and loved it.  I want to savor it and understand it better.  I want to think upon all of Emma's character flaws (how she can miss them all herself?!), and reflect upon how gracious Mr. Knightly is, to love her through them all.

How about you, dear friend?  Is there a book you need to tuck away for now, in order to reflect more deeply upon something you have read before?  Do you have any suggestions or techniques that you use to help you better process and retain the information you read?  If so, I'd love to hear more about them--please feel free to leave any suggestions you might have in the comments section (click the bubble icon) below!

May we slow down, savor, enjoy...and be forever changed by what we read!

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Smartphone & Social Media Resources

I have totally devoured these two Christian resources about smartphones and social media over the past few days, and I can't wait to share them with you!

The first book is The Teen's Guide to Social Media and Mobile Devices: 21 Tips to Wise Posting in an Insecure World by Jonathan McKee.  (As you can imagine, I received a lot of heat from my kids when they caught me reading this one: "Mom, you are NOT a teen!," to which I just chuckled, but hey, I learned a lot for myself, and for them, one day.)

This one was a fantastic read and written in such a way that it was light-hearted and witty, yet informative, thought provoking, and came off non-preachy (a hard balance to master).  It offered up scripture to ponder, personal questions to consider, and left lots of room for the reader to decide for themselves how to navigate this new technology (because what teen wants to be told what do to by an adult, right?).

I walked away equipped with a better understanding of the underlying purpose of apps like Snapchat, straight-forward recommendations regarding privacy settings, and encouragement to seek out a mentor.  I also took to heart the advice to take less selfies (treat it like a paycheck: never more than two a month!) and learned in a fresh way how online anonymity is a myth.

Definitely one I want to own for my kids someday soon!

The second book I'd highly recommend to you is 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You by Tony Reinke.  This book really took me by surprise.  In truth, I was expecting a straight-forward book recounting all the ways smartphones impact our lives (increased distraction, decreased interpersonal communication, etc.).  But what I got instead was a hard-hitting, deeply theological resource that enabled me to take a deep and long view at my heart and how my use of digital technology and social media reflects its deepest desires.

(In retrospect, I should have seen this coming, as Reinke is senior writer for Desiring God, and the book features a forward written by John Piper, and interviews with pastors such as Paul David Tripp and Ray Ortlund, Jr.)

I mean, who would have thought technology has a theology behind it?

Reinke digs deep and invites us to truly examine our hearts in areas such as our desire for immediate approval, our fear of man, our fear of missing out, and our profound loneliness.  It also gave me a greater context for understanding our current digital age: that, since the Garden, man has been creating culture that distracts us from God and tempts us towards worship of it, instead of God.  In truth, ALL technology isolates (just look at the bank teller being replaced by the ATM, the traffic cop being replaced by the traffic signal); this phenomenon is nothing new or unique to smartphones.  Instead, like in all things, it is how our technology and its tools are viewed and used.

What I love about both of these resources is that neither one of them is written from the perspective that technology is bad or sinful in itself.  Neither author recommends that we chuck our smartphones in the trash or move to Ghana (if my latest mission trip is any indication, they have them there anyways!).

Instead, both resources remind me that I am smarter than any smartphone.  With God's help, I can use biblical principles to navigate this brave new world of having digital technology at my fingertips, every moment of every day.  I can be honest about the sins in my heart before the Lord, and the ways in which I look to technology to escape or use it to provide me with a sense of security, safety, and approval, instead of looking to Him.  I can set boundaries.  I can create tech-free zones in my house and in my life, and I can enjoy tech-free sabbath rests.

I will definitely be unpacking the truths I've devoured within the pages of these books in future blog posts, as I process them for myself and have the time to reflect upon my own heart.  But for now, I'd love to invite you to come alongside me and read these fantastic resources, if not for yourselves, then on behalf of your children, friends, and loved ones.

I believe we all struggle with the truths contained in these books, whether we admit them or not.  My prayer is that we would all be humble and honest with ourselves to reflect upon how and why we use digital technology and social media in our lives.  May it, like with everything that we do, be for our and others' good, and ultimately for God's glory, until He returns.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." --1 Corinthians 10:31

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The Tech-Wise Family

Source: cru.org

I recently read a fantastic book about how we as Christian families can put technology in its proper place in our lives and homes.

It speaks to being more present in our everyday lives.

It speaks to how we can take a stand to protect our children from internet pornography and elicit texting.

It speaks to how we can encourage real learning and experiences in our home, but does so in such a way that it does not shun or shame technology use, but rather encourages us to place it at the periphery of our lives, to be used when we need it, for a specific purpose, and in a communal way so that it serves to connect us and enriches our lives, rather than disconnecting and distracting us.

This book is a relatively short read and is chock-full of great info-graphics and statistics from Barna, gathered as recently as 2017.  I'd like to highlight a few things I've learned from this great resource on today's post and encourage you to grab your own copy for an enlightening summer read.

Quite simply, this book establishes "Ten Tech-Wise Commitments"--one for each chapter in the book--which speak to particular rhythms and routines in your day: how you structure your time and space in the home, and how you work and learn, for example.

One of the most interesting parts of the book discussed internet pornography.  As we've discussed before on the blog, pornography is a real concern for us as parents in a relatively new tech-driven world where our children can be easily exposed to pornographic imagery, videos, and adult predators online.  However, this particular statistic came as a surprise to me:

"An astonishing 62 percent of teenagers say they have received a nude image on their phone, and 40 percent say they have sent one." The Tech-Wise Family p.169

We as parents must realize that our children may be exposed to pornography without the help of the commercial porn industry--just through the influence of their friends' willingness to explicitly share themselves online!  Andy Couch goes on to discuss the issue of pornography in our homes:

"So the best defense against porn, for every member of our family, is a full life--the kind of life that technology cannot provide on its own.  This is why the most important things we will do to prevent porn from taking over our own lives and our children's lives have nothing to do with sex.  A home where wisdom and courage come first; where our central spaces are full of satisfying, demanding opportunities for creativity; where we have regular breaks from technology and opportunities for deep rest and refreshment...; where we've learned to manage boredom and where even our car trips are occasions for deep and meaningful conversation--this is the kind of home that can equip all of us with an immune system strong enough to resist pornography's foolishness." p. 173

Another enlightening part of the book centers around the concept of rest and sabbath (for more on that, check out this post!).  Andy encourages each of us to take an "electronic Sabbath" one hour a day, one day a week, and one week out of every year, both individually and as a family.  I love this idea, especially as it can help protect the dinner hour each night and allow you to have devoted family time to connect on a regular basis.

Lastly, Andy speaks to the importance of worshiping together as a family, making and singing music in the home without the aid of technology.  What a wonderful confirmation of all the blessings family worship has given to us as a family this year! (Not sure what family worship is exactly? Check out this post here).  He states:

"And so worship is the most important thing a family can do....The home is the place where worship of the true God starts: the place where we remember and recite God's Word, and where we learn to respond to God with our heart, soul, strength, and--as Jesus added when he called this the greatest commandment--with our mind as well." pgs 189-190

And so I'd encourage you to come alongside me and take some time out and examine the use of technology in your life and in your home.  How can we and our families strike a better balance this year, using technology to enhance our life and relationships, rather than to divide and distract us?  It can get murky at times, but I trust the Lord will reveal to you, and to me, His truth and will for our homes as we learn more about this very critical issue we all face!

(Oh, and I'd love to give another shout out to a great resource that speaks to changing your phone setttings for a more present life in this podcast by Allie Casazza.  It's a must listen and has been a game-changer for me!)

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The Lost Art of Catechism

In my last blog post we talked about a near-extinct practice that is wildly beneficial for the Christian family: family worship.

Today, I'd like explore another nearly forgotten practice that has truly blessed my family, and serves as a powerful aid for my children (and me!) to understanding life in Christ: catechism.

If you are like me, you may be completely unfamiliar with catechism.  Many evangelical Protestant churches have dropped the practice, and many other Protestant and Catholic believers only do it through a structured program at church, not at home.  So, allow me to briefly tell you what catechism is, why it is important, and introduce you to some invaluable resources so that you, too, can practice this with your children in a way that is natural and enjoyable for all.

Quite simply, catechizing is a particular method of instruction historically used by the Church using questions and answers.  It comes from the combination of two Greek words: "kata" meaning "down toward" and "echeo" meaning "to sound."  The idea of "katecheo" is simple: like sonar, the instructor sends out questions and listens for the echo, the answers that reveal the depth of knowledge and understanding of the student.

Catechism's aim is to give the student a rich, biblically-based theological framework from which to understand God, the Bible, and themselves.  While there are many different catechisms in existance (Heidelberg, Westminster, Luther's, Catholic, New City, Baptist, just to name a few) most of them teach basic doctrines on the topics of God, sin, Christ, salvation, the law, prayer, and the sacraments, among others.  Here is just a sample of questions from the catechism we use:

• "Who made you?" 
• "How can you glorify God?" 
• "Where is Christ now?"
• "What is prayer?" 
• "Who wrote the Bible?"
• "What must you do to be saved?"
• "What is sin?"
• "What is meant by the atonement?"

We see the practice of catechism throughout biblical history, beginning at the time of Moses and continuing throughout the Scriptures with the Jews in their synagogues, Christ with His disciples, then into the Church age: the early and medieval church, as well as through the Reformation.  Since it grew out of the oral tradition of Moses, catechism emphasizes "hearing and speaking."  This is in sharp contrast to the modern Sunday school movement of the 19th century and beyond, which emphasizes "doing and seeing," such as learning through flannel-graph scenes, playing games, and coloring pictures.  The other striking feature of catechism is that it is relationship-oriented.  Moses spoke of parents teaching the Scriptures to their children through all the daily activities of life (see Deuteronomy 6:6-9).  Likewise, catechism is best done in the home, between parent and child, and not out-sourced to other Bible teachers and preachers.

Now, just like family worship, catechism suffers from a host of misconceptions that I'd like to touch on in today's post.  First, as Christians in the digital age, we often mistakenly believe that there is no real value in memorization--can't we just access information quickly, at the click of a button, when we want it?  But memorization is remembering--it is crucial to understand that--which was one of God's repeated rebukes to His people throughout the Scriptures, who were so quick to forget the works and wonders He had shown them (see Psalm 78:11).

Secondly, we often associate catechism with mere rote-work that bypasses the heart and mind.  But quite honestly, catechizing is truly an art form.  When a parent asks their child a catechism question, the discussion has only just begun after they answer back.  This speaks to what I said before about catechism being relationship-oriented, and why it works best at home.  In this context, a child can see that catechism is so much more than merely parroting back theological answers, but instead it gives the framework for passionate, all-encompassing Christian living, seen and experienced on a daily basis.

Lastly, we all know we have limited time and mental bandwidth--ought we not be memorizing Scripture, and only Scripture, with our limited time and resources? we might wonder.  I was personally in this camp for a long time.  But unlike Scripture memory work, catechizing provides a child with a rich, biblically-based theological framework from which to understand and relate to the Scriptures.  For example, there is not one verse you could memorize that can explain an entire theological concept like "Why did God make me?" or "Who wrote the Bible?".  This is where catechism can lay the foundation for deeper biblical understanding for a child (and adult!) as they go on to memorize the Scriptures.

Now, you might be wondering what catechism looks like in my household.  We have been doing this practice for about seven years, starting when my oldest child was around four-years-old.  Like I mentioned before, there are many different catechisms from which to choose--some being current adaptations using modern English, others being simplified for children.  The one I have chosen to use for my family is the First Catechism, also known as the Catechism for Young Children: An Introduction to the Shorter Catechism, put out by the folks at Great Commission Publications.  I didn't think too long and hard about it--I honestly just used the one that was readily available (and only $1) at my church!

After we pray, read a Bible passage (or devotional), and discuss it during our morning Bible time, I simply pull out the catechism and we go over one new question and answer (or, if reviewing, we go over three or four questions and answers).  When we first started, we began with question #1 "Who made you?," and worked our way into the book until we hit question 16, which started to talk about Adam and Eve and original sin.  I then jumped over to the section about the Lord's Prayer, its six petitions, and what they mean.  We've done this in the past with the Ten Commandments, too.  Why skip around?  Well, it is simply because I want to dove-tail our catechism with what we are learning and discussing at the time.  We just happen to be memorizing the Lord's Prayer right now as a family, and I thought it was be great to catechize on this subject, too.  To be sure, we will go back and discuss original sin, atonement, and sacraments at a later time (remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint!)

One thing that has really brightened our catechism experience is listening to the songs from the Ask Me Whoooo CD series.  This series places the First Catechism to music, word-for-word, helping the children (and me!) remember the questions and answers more easily.  We use all three discs because, like I mentioned before, we skip around to various topics.  I'd highly recommend buying a complete set at this site, as you are able.  This works well for when we are riding around in the car, both to introduce new questions and to review old ones.

Ask Me Whoooo CD: Volume 1

I'd also highly recommend reading the book Rediscovering Catechism: The Art of Equipping Covenant Children by Donald Van Dyken, which goes into far more detail than I ever could about the history of catechism, why it is important to catechize your children, and also gives you a host of resources and information about incorporating it into your home life.  In fact, I'll close today with a powerful quote from John J. Murray, a Scottish preacher quoted in this book.  It speaks to why I believe you should consider adopting this practice with your children today!

"What was looked on as a necessary and beneficial practice by the early church and by the reformers has now fallen into such disuse among Christian people that very few seem to have any understanding or appreciation of the subject.  We believe it is to the discontinuance of this practice [catechizing] that we can trace much of the doctrinal ignorance, confusing and instability so characteristic of modern Christianity."

May you and your family be blessed as you take the step of faith to make catechism a regular practice in your home!

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Family Worship: What It Is, What It's Not, and Why It Matters

Source: alliancenet.org

There's a Christian practice that is so near-extinct, you won't hear your church friends talk about it.  I've never heard a sermon or a podcast about it.  In fact, no one I personally know practices it (besides my family and me).  And yet, Charles Spurgeon, Matthew Henry, and scads of other preachers talked about it in centuries past.  In fact, many say that it has been one of the strongest characteristics of the Christian family throughout the history of the church.

What is this practice, you might ask?

It is a little known thing called family worship.

My family adopted this practice last fall, and I am here to tell you that it has been a total *game-changer* for our family. Experiencing regular family worship has brought unity, identity, peace, and purpose into our family unlike any other Christian discipline we've ever practiced.

In today's post, I'd like to explain what family worship is, what it is not, what it looks like for my family, and why it matters...for my family and for yours.

So what exactly is family worship? Quite simply, family worship is worshiping God together as a family in your home on a regular basis (daily or near-daily).  It involves Bible reading, prayer, and singing worship songs together.  Like the proverbial three-legged stool, it works alongside private worship (prayer, devotionals, personal "quiet times") and corporate worship (church worship services) to provide balance and stability for the Christian family.

Now, what is NOT family worship?  Family worship is not just family together time or reading Christian books together (there is a place for these, but separate from family worship).  Instead, it incorporates the same elements we see in corporate worship (minus the sacraments of baptism and communion, which are only appropriate in corporate worship settings): reading Scripture aloud, praying together, and singing worship songs together.  It involves every member of your family and is led by Dad (single-mother families being the exception).

Okay, so why does family worship matter?

Well, let me back up a bit first and give you some backstory.

Like I mentioned before, I've never heard a sermon on this topic or known a family to practice family worship.  However, I came upon the book A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home a few years ago at my church's book table and was intrigued.  I bought it and quickly read it over.

And then I shelved it.  For three years.

Even though the topic interested me, there were a lot of misconceptions I had that hindered us from putting it into practice.  Now, you might already know that I have morning devotionals--Bible reading, prayer, and catechism--with my children around the breakfast table each morning.  While not exactly easy (depending upon their ages and attitudes at the time), it has been very doable.  It simply involves sitting down over breakfast, cracking open a Bible or devotional book, and reading while the kids are occupied and eating.

Family worship, on the other hand, seemed to have too many moving parts.  It involves both Mommy and Daddy, which limits the time of day it can be done.  It involves corralling our kids together in one space to participate in an activity that does not involve eating (although family worship could always be tacked on after a meal).  It also involves singing, which is not as comfortable and familiar for us to do together as a family.  And I also struggled to see how it was really any different from the Bible teaching and prayer we were already doing around the breakfast table each morning.  Did we really need to tack on another thing to our hectic day? I reasoned.

And so the family worship book sat for years until I rediscovered it on our bookshelf last summer.  In truth, I was pulling it off the shelf with the intention to donate it; we were growing short on bookshelf space and I figured if I wasn't going to reread it or refer back to it for any reason, it might as well be out of our home.

But something stopped me from walking it straight to our book donation bag.  Instead, I asked my husband to read it and tell me what he thought about it, before I passed it along. I hadn't shared it with him when I had read it years ago (oops), and I figured I'd give him a chance to look it over before we got rid of the book for good.

Well, he agreed to read the book, and then things really started to get rolling.

I don't remember the exact conversation we had after he finished the book, but I can tell you that it lasted approximately 5 seconds and involved just as few words: probably some amalgam of "let's do this," "we should do this," or "we need to do this," followed by my one-word reply of, "okay."  We locked eyes, and we just knew we needed to experience this grace as a family as soon as possible.

And so (with much trepidation and skepticism on my part!), we gathered up the kids in our living room at 7:45 that very evening (fifteen minutes prior to bedtime).  My husband sat on the piano bench, facing the two chairs in our living room with a Bible in his hand, and the kids and I sat on the chairs, ottoman, and floor, looking up at him.  He figured we'd start with a gospel first, so we all voted on Mark (conveniently the shortest) and he read a chapter.  Then, we polled the room for prayer requests, topics of which ranged from boo-boos to grandparents to pets I am sure, and we took turns praying with Daddy going first, kids going as they felt led to pray aloud, and me closing us out.  Finally, Daddy swung his legs back around the piano bench to face the keys, and we sang two of the few songs we knew from memory at the time: Jesus Loves Me and He's Got the Whole World In His Hands, with only right-hand musical accompaniment.

Fifteen minutes.  Bible.  Prayer.  Singing.  Off-to-bed.

Now, we've been worshiping as a family on most nights for over six months to date.  Family worship looks a bit different from when we first started (like individual hymn booklets and fuller musical accompaniment!).  It is truly something that we look forward to--a perfect way to cap our day as a family.  When it is getting close to 7:45, the kids enjoy the excuse to run through the house and call out "FAMILY WORSHIP!!!" as loud as they can so everyone can gather together in the living room.  We laugh about the fact that our cat often comes to join us, too, once we all get settled in.  If we have an evening commitment, or on nights we host community group, we do not observe family worship.  But for the most part, whenever we are home, on weekdays and weekends, we worship together and plan TV time, games, and other evening activities accordingly. 

Now, before you conjure up some Currier and Ives lithograph of the perfect family and think to yourself oh, isn't that just so quaint, that might work for them but never for our family, I must set you straight--it NEVER looks perfect people!  The kids squirm.  Some days they are hyper and giggle uncontrollably.  They often ask rabbit-trail questions.  The cat crawls all over us and distracts us.  We sing off-tune.  We play wrong notes.  Oftentimes, there are arguments over who sits where and with whom.  They whine and grumble about who gets to chose which worship songs we sing and in what order (and for how many verses).  Sometimes, I daydream and can't focus on the Bible passages.  Some days, we can hardly stand to even be together because of previous sibling squabbles or parental disciplinary issues.  I could go on and on.  This is real life (in all its messy glory) at its best!

No, it is never perfect!  But that is precisely WHY we do it: we gather together every evening knowing that we are NOT the perfect family, but instead, we are desperate sinners in need of God's grace to be poured out on us as a family.

Now, before I close, I must share with you how much God has blessed our family through the grace of family worship.  I can truly say that family worship has done what nothing else has for our family: it has given us a firm sense of spiritual unity, purpose, and identity as a Christian family.  It has defined who we are as a family: worshipers of God, first and foremost.  It has book-ended our days, so that we start and end every day reading God's Word, centering our day (and therefore our lives, and our family) on Him.  It has also fostered peace in our family, as we come together to calm our spirits and reflect upon God, not on the cares of the day (or the issues we have with each other!).  And unlike any other Biblical practice I know of, family worship reinforces the spiritual headship of the father in our home.  Unlike during my morning Bible time with the kids, I am reminded during family worship that my husband and I are a spiritual team, commanded and equipped by God to disciple our children together, with my husband at the helm of the ship.

I know you probably have scads of questions and doubts about the practice of family worship; I know I did!  Let me direct you to the book I mentioned earlier.  It will go into far more detail about the what, why, and how of family worship than I could ever tell you.  It also offers practical help with issues like having an unbelieving spouse (or a spouse that is not on board), handling children of various ages, scheduling, consistency, attitudes, etc, and shares real-life testimonials from families currently practicing family worship, as well as from grown children who were raised in family worshiping households.

In closing, I strongly urge you and your spouse to prayerfully consider incorporating family worship into your family life, dear one!  I can personally tell you that it has been transformative for our household, and I trust it will be for yours, too.  It truly is a grace to be had, and not a burden to bear! I'll end with this quote from Jason Helopoulos's Neglected Grace book, which says it all so well:

We cannot speak about the Christian faith impacting our world, our country, or our community if it is not first impacting our homes--and few things will bring our Christian faith to bear in the home more than family worship.  We cannot cry out for the need for evangelism and others coming to faith, so that there are more worshipers before the throne, if we are not committed to worship ourselves--and this includes worship in the home.  We cannot complain about our children wandering from the faith if we are not making it the center of their upbringing in our home--and though family worship may not be the only way, it is surely one of the most beneficial ways.

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It's a Blog Makeover!

Hi there, dear friend!  I am excited to unveil my newly made-over blogsite, thanks to Corinne at The Blog Decorator.  While you will notice the site is more streamlined and modern-looking, I hope you will soon see that the changes go WAY further than just screen-deep!  My hope is that this new design will enable you to quickly and easily locate biblical truth and resources to encourage and strengthen you on your faith journey.

Here's just a quick tour of the blog's new features:

Each blog post now displays a prominent label heading, right under the post title (Books and Resources, for this post).  By clicking this label heading, you will be directed to other posts that contain related content.  In addition, once you have read a blog post, you will see other blog post suggestions you might also enjoy reading, featured conveniently at the bottom of the page.

Another way of accessing a particular category of blog posts is by scrolling ALL the way down (if you are on a mobile device) or by checking out the right-hand gray box on the webpage entitled LABELS.

So...if you, like me, are struggling with sin in your life, just click on the Sin and Repentance label heading.

Are you wrestling with a theological question?  Click on Theology.

Need some nature study or homeschooling ideas?  Check out Homeschooling and Nature.

Easy peasy.

You will also notice a menu bar (or box, if on a mobile device) at the top-left of the blog home page.  Just use the menu to easily access recommending reading lists or to learn more about the blog and me.

Last of all, you will notice social media buttons to easily share posts with friends and other trendy features like this:

I can now underscore particular points by using cool block quote boxes like this!  Now this must really be important, right?

So, welcome to the new digs!  I invite you to grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and nose around for a bit.  I do hope you will be encouraged in your faith, dear one, as we journey together, learning and musing about all God has to teach us about Himself and the beauty of His Word!

As always, I appreciate you visiting Risa's Reflections!

Oh, and now, I can sign each blog post, like this...

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Reading Revolution

Hi friend!  Just wanted to stop in today and chat about something that has been a true joy for all of us in my household: READING.

Reading a book aloud together has really helped me to cultivate a deeper relationship with my children.  Taking time out to read, just for myself, has also served to refresh me and encourage me in my spiritual life and as a homeschooling parent.

Some have put it this way: reading can be a very powerful *reset* button to a frustrating day.

Over the past few years or so, I have really enjoyed reconnecting with books.  You see, there was a time when I did not--years when I was working late hours at the hospital, years when I was nursing babies around the clock and had to use any free time I had to catch up on sleep or housework!  But now, in this season of my life, it is one of the most restorative things I do in my day.

Before I dive into what I've been reading, let me chat for a minute about how I record the books I've read.  First, I keep a Word document on my desktop of what I read (titles and authors) and divide it out by category: spiritual, home education, fiction, children's literature, etc.  I start a new list every year, and so in this way, I can easily glance at what I am taking in each year.  Is it balanced?  Do I read too much non-fiction as compared to fiction?  What genres do I not read from (fantasy, for example?).  What do I want to read in the upcoming year?  This list helps me wrap my mind around my annual diet of reading material and tweak it if necessary.

However, I also like to process what I read--I like to rate it and write down some initial impressions about it.  This little "what I read" journal has been just that: a compact way to record what I read and include my personal opinions and impressions about it.  My ten-year-old also has one that she has enjoyed using, too!

"what I read" journal

I used to read books with a pen in hand because I *love* to underline quotes that really resonate with me and jot down notes in the margin.  However, in my attempt to decrease my non-essential spending, I have been using my local library more and more to whittle away at my book list.  That said, I have fallen in love with these book darts which allow me to mark passages, but without actually defacing a borrowed book with a pen or pencil or by dog-earing pages.  In fact, my kids love these too, so I recently bought my six-year-old her own tin.  Once I finish reading a book, I then transfer these marked quotes into my journal and return the book darts to their tin for my next read.

Since my childhood, I have always kept a journal--a place to keep my personal musings on my day, as well as a place to record quotes and passages from books I've enjoyed.  I now know that journals which contain book quotes are sometimes called "common place journals."  I suppose I have kept a common place journal all along, but it is so much more to me than that. If you want to know more about keeping a common place journal, and teaching your children how to use one as part of their homeschool reading, I'd highly recommend checking out this free master class and/or podcast from Sarah Mackenzie at the Read Aloud Revival.

Okay--so, what have I been reading recently??  Come, take a tour with me of the books on my nightstand.  Any and all of these I would heartily recommend if you need any ideas for yourself or your family...

• Children's literature: Sophie Quire and the Last Storyguard by Jonathan Auxier.  Another fantastic book in the Peter Nimble series.  Can we say page-turner?!

• Classic literature:  To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.  A reread for me, and a fantastic one at that.  I just had to rewatch the movie starring Gregory Peck, too.  Sooo glad my sister nudged me to reread this Pulitzer Prize winner and discuss it with her over the phone!

• Non-fiction: This is actually my favorite genre!  I couldn't whittle it down to just one--can't tell you enough good things about the following books:

Barefoot and Balanced: How Unrestricted Outdoor Play Makes for Strong, Confident, and Capable Children by Angela Hanscom

Vitamin N: The Essential Guide to a Nature-Rich Life by Richard Louv

Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature Deficient Disorder by Richard Louv

Do you see a theme emerging??  Bottom line: get youself and your kids outdoors...a lot!

• Home-Education: Another tie! Arithmetic for Parents: A Book for Grownups about Children's Mathematics by Ron Aharoni  (yep, turns out that teaching 5th grade math is kicking me in the tush--this is a GREAT overview of arithmetic and really helps you see the subtlety and beauty of mathematical computations in general) and How To Read Literature Like a Professor: For Kids by Thomas C. Foster (a great one to help you talk to your kids about symbolism, mood, quest, etc...when you read books together)

• Read Aloud with the kids: Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo (can't wait to see the movie with them now!)

• Spiritual life:  Reading both Unlimited Grace: The Heart Chemistry that Frees from Sin and Fuels the Christian Life by Bryan Chapell and rereading How People Change by Tim Lane and Paul David Tripp right now.

• Just For Fun: Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative and Show Your Work: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Noticed by Austin Kleon.  I loved the pen and ink illustrations just as much as the words!

So there you have it--let's all just say YAY for reading!!  It truly has been revolutionary for me and my household, and I hope it will be for you and yours, too!

Don't think you have the time to read?  Sarah Mackenzie will give you some great ideas (being a home-schooling mother of SIX herself) to fit reading into your life.  There are also many great ideas as to what your children can do if they have the wiggles while you are reading aloud to them.

So what do you have to lose, dear friend?  As the weather turns cooler and the days get shorter, why don't you brew up some favorite tea or coffee and curl up with a great book?  Just do me a favor and don't forget to record it, somewhere, somehow!  You will be amazed to see all the great ideas you savored through books when you check out ALL that you have read a year from now!

(NOTE: I would be remiss if I did not mention the most impactful book of all in my life: the Bible!  Check out this post for more about my favorites study Bibles, journaling Bibles, gift Bibles and more)

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